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bw portal resume sap CAREER OBJECTIVES _DO NOT USE PENCIL. 45 Yearling Path • Colts Neck, New Jersey 07722. SAP Technical Consultant • Senior IT Manager. Absorbency Paper Research? PROFESSIONAL STANDING AFFILIATIONS. Post? Member of the towels, Bar, New Jersey Bar Association United States Supreme Court Qualified. United States District Federal Court Qualified New Jersey State Court Qualified. Monmouth Bar Association American Bar Association. Good Literature Introductions? ImClone Systems Corporation, Branchburg , NJ February 2009 - present. SAP Project Leader. Research? · Project leader of upgrade of on making good choices, SAP 4.6C to absorbency paper ECC 6.0. Essay For School Admission? · Designed and managed entire upgrade project. · Developed full upgrade plan. Absorbency Research? · Developed training documents. Enrollment? · Managed tasks and towels, resources. · Wrote OQ, PQ documents for CPR verifications. Admission? · Performed certified validations. Absorbency Towels Research? · Scope of system included FICO, PM, PP, MM. · Designed and developed Workflow A/P Invoice Approval process. · Designed and developed Workflow Plant Maintenance work order process. Good Choices? · Designed and developed Temperature Excursion system. · Implemented Digital Signature process in Plant Maintenance and absorbency paper, Material Management. · Developed conversion and about enrollment system, interface programs for data transmission from absorbency paper towels research, ImClone to Eli Lilly. Paper? PANASONIC NORTH AMERICA, Secaucus , NJ April 2009 - present.
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SYMBOL TECHNOLOGIES, Bohemia, NY • 1998 to paper 1999. Paper Towels? SAP Lead Technical Consultant. Revising Lesson? Engaged as SAP MM/FI/SD ABAP/Configuration expert for paper towels research, this scanner technology company to post completion opt thesis optimize inefficient code and modify or write functional modules (reports, user exits, match codes, etc.). · Converted detailed/summary reports into 1 document with drill down capabilities, eliminating multiple reports. Absorbency Towels Research? · Slashed processing time from completion, 45 minutes down to 12 seconds through modifications to absorbency paper towels research existent code. Thesis? ATTORNEY AT LAW, Colts Neck, NJ • 1999 to Present – This is absorbency paper towels a concurrent business (part-time). Solo practitioner handling transactional type work (estate, probate, trusts, living wills, wills, contracts, general counsel, etc.).
Resolve contract disputes, write position papers for non-profit organizations, and facilitate educational loan /collection issue dispute resolutions. Also working knowledge of Sarbanes Oxley as it relates to essay about IT. SIEMENS AG /SIEMENS MEDICAL SYSTEMS, INC., Edison, NJ • 1989 to absorbency paper research 1998. Applications / Systems Manager. Initially recruited as DB2 relational database expert to lead project teams of for school admission, up to 25; earned rapid advancement into paper towels, management, overseeing 30 staff and reporting directly to CIO through Director of narrative essay, Applications. · Implemented SAP R/3 3.0 C. Was application manager and paper research, technical lead performing BDCs, User exits, reporting, SAPscipts, conversions and interfaces in essay on making SD, MM, FI/CO areas. Absorbency Paper Towels? · Managed technical team supporting sales, inventory and good literature introductions, materials movement functions. · Responsible for annual department group budgets. · Initiated $35k cost-saving measure to place HR personnel and absorbency towels, accounting manual on revising lesson, corporate intranet. · Implemented CICS COBOL II custom sales / inventory / purchasing / financial system. · Developed standardized development review process implemented company wide. Absorbency Paper? · Reduced overall coding method knowledge curve and opt thesis, trained personnel. · Developed labor-saving automatic nightly batch audit process.
Details of technical positions with DUN BRADSTREET and REVLON will be provided upon absorbency towels request. Statement For Cv? · JD, Seton Hall University School of research, Law, Newark, NJ. · MBA (Finance/Marketing), Monmouth University, Long Branch, NJ. · BA / Computer Science and Criminal Justice, Stockton State College, Pomona, NJ (double degree) MONTEREY BEACH CLUB INC. Professional Personal Statement? • 1989 to absorbency towels Present. · 1995 to Present: Treasurer / CFO; Chairman of Constitution/By-Laws Committee (review/construct legal rules/regulations) · 1993-1995: Executive Committee, Secretary. · 1989-1993: Board of on making good, Governors (headed public relations efforts; Founder and absorbency paper research, Editor-in-Chief of apa research, organization’s newsletter) JAMES K. Absorbency Research? KAUB, ESQ • [email protected] COLTS NECK Republican Club • 1999 -present. Essay? COLTS NECK SPORTS FOUNDATION • 1999 - 2007. SAP ABAP • SAP3.1H-4.6 •SAP ECC 5.0, SAP ECC 6.0, SAP APO 3 • SAP SCM/SD/FI/CO/PP/PM • SAP Best Practices, SAP Workflow.
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Gut-Level Legislation, or, Redistribution. Publication date Spring 2006. “New American fiction” is, to my mind, immediately and unhappily equivalent to new American short fiction. And yet I think the American short story is a dead form, unnaturally perpetuated, as Lukacs once wrote of the chivalric romance, “by purely formal means, after the transcendental conditions for absorbency towels research its existence have already been condemned by the historico-philosophical dialectic.” Having exhausted the essay on making good conditions for its existence, the short story continues to be propagated in America by a purely formal apparatus: by the big magazines, which, if they print fiction at all, sandwich one short story per issue between features and reviews; and by workshop-based creative writing programs and their attendant literary journals. Towels Research. Today’s short stories all seem to thesis computerized system bear an invisible check mark, the ghastly imprimatur of the fiction factory; the very sentences are animated by some kind of absorbency towels vegetable consciousness: “I worked for Kristin,” they seem to narrative say, or “Jeff thought I was fucking hilarious.” Meanwhile, the ghosts of deleted paragraphs rattle their chains from the absorbency paper towels research margins. In the name of science, I recently read from essay about, cover to cover the paper towels research Best American Short Stories anthologies of essay 2004 and 2005. Many of these stories seemed to have been pared down to a nearly unreadable core of brisk verbs and vivid nouns.
An indiscriminate premium has been placed on the particular, the tactile, the “crisp,” and the “tart”—as if literary worth should be calibrated by resemblance to an apple (or, in the lingo of hyperspecificity, a McIntosh). Absorbency Towels. Writers appear to be trying to identify as many concrete entities as possible, in professional statement for cv the fewest possible words. The result is celebrated as “lean,” “tight,” “well-honed” prose. One of the by-products of hyperspecificity is a preponderance of proper names. For maximum specificity and minimum word count, names can’t be beat. Absorbency Research. Julia, Juliet, Viola, Violet, Rusty, Lefty, Carl, Carla, Carleton, Mamie, Sharee, Sharon, Rose of good essay introductions Sharon (a Native American). In acknowledgment of the times, the 2004 and absorbency paper, 2005 volumes each contain exactly one Middle East story, each featuring a character called Hassan. I found these names annoying, universally so. I was no less annoyed by system John Briggs or John Hillman than by Sybil Mildred Clemm Legrand Pascal, who invites the reader to call her Miss Sibby.
I was no more delighted by paper research the cat called King Spanky than by on making good the cat called Cat. Towels. The authors had clearly weighed plausibility against precision; whichever way they inclined, there was the same aura of cheapness. Alarmed by my own negativity, I began to wonder whether I might be doing the Best Americans some injustice. Essay. For a point of comparison, I reread a few stories by towels research Chekhov, who is still the ostensible role model for American “short-fiction practitioners.” (Search for “the American Chekhov” on Google, and thesis enrollment system, you will get hits for Carver, Cheever, Tobias Wolff, Peter Taylor, Andre Dubus, and Lorrie Moore, as well as several playwrights.) By comparison with the towels Best Americans, I found, Chekhov is quite sparing with names. In “Lady with Lapdog,” Gurov’s wife gets a few lines of dialogue, but no name. Anna’s husband, Gurov’s crony at the club, the lapdog—all remain mercifully nameless.
Granted, Chekhov was writing from a different point in the historico-philosophical dialectic: a character could be called “Gurov’s wife,” “the bureaucrat,” or “the lackey,” and nobody would take it as a political statement. Essay Choices. The Best Americans are more democratic. Absorbency Paper. Every last clerk, child, and goat has a name. Nowhere is the best American barrage of names so relentless as in the first sentences, which are specific to the point of arbitrariness; one expects to discover that they are all acrostics, or don’t contain a single letter e. They all begin in professional personal medias res. For Slavists, the precedent for “in medias res” is set by Pushkin’s fragment “The guests were arriving at the dacha.” According to Tolstoy’s wife, this sentence inspired the opening of Anna Karenina . Absorbency Paper Towels Research. Would Pushkin have managed to inspire anybody at all had he written: “The night before Countess Maria Ivanovna left for Baden Baden, a drunken coachman crashed the Mirskys’ troika into the Pronskys’ dacha”? He would not. Pushkin knew that it is neither necessary nor desirable for the first sentence of a literary work to essay good answer the “five w’s and one h.” Many of the Best Americans assume this perverse burden. The result is not just in medias res, but in-your-face in absorbency research medias res, a maze of names, subordinate clauses, and minor collisions: “The morning after her granddaughter’s frantic phone call, Lorraine skipped her usual coffee session at the Limestone Diner and drove out to the accident scene instead”; “Graves had been sick for three days when, on the long, straight highway between Mazar and Kunduz, a dark blue truck coming toward them shed its rear wheel in a spray of orange-yellow sparks.” I had to essay on making stare at absorbency towels, these sentences (from Trudy Lewis’s “Limestone Diner” and completion, Tom Bissell’s “Death Defier”) for absorbency towels research several minutes each. A first line like “Lorraine skipped her usual coffee session at the Limestone Diner” is supposed to create the illusion that the personal statement for cv reader already knows Lorraine, knows about her usual coffee, and, thus, cares why Lorraine has violated her routine. Paper Research. It’s like a confidence man who rushes up and claps you on the shoulder, trying to make you think you already know him.
Today’s writers are hustling their readers, as if reading were some arduous weight-loss regime, or a form of community service; the public goes along, joking about how they really should read more. Oprah uses identical rhetoric to advocate reading and fitness; Martha Nussbaum touts literature as an about computerized enrollment, exercise regime for towels compassion. Reading has become a Protestant good work: if you “buy into” Lorraine’s fate, it proves that you are a good person, capable of self-sacrifice and empathy. Another popular technique for waylaying the reader is the use of thesis computerized system specificity as a shortcut to nostalgia—as if all a writer has to do is mention Little League or someone called Bucky McGee, and our shared American past will do the rest of the work. Each of the Best American anthologies, for example, has a Little League story. I believe, with the Formalists, that literature has no inherently unsuitable subject—but, if it did, this subject would surely be Little League. Both Best Americans include some variation on the Western historical romance, e.g., “Hart and Boot”: “The man’s head and torso emerged from a hole in the ground, just a few feet from the rock where Pearl Hart sat smoking her last cigarette.” There is a terrible threat in this sentence: is the towels research reader really expected to think: “Good old Pearl Hart”? The best of the Best Americans are still the about computerized enrollment system old masters—Joyce Carol Oates, Alice Munro, John Updike—writers who comply with the absorbency paper purpose of the short-story form: namely, telling a short story. This sounds trivial, but isn’t. The short-story form can only accommodate a very specific content: basically, absence. Missing persons, missed opportunities, very brief encounters, occuring in the margins of “Life Itself”: when the content is minimalist, then it makes sense to follow the short-fiction dictates: condense, delete, omit.
Novels, like short stories, are often about absences; but they are based on information overload. Good Literature Introductions. A short story says, “I looked for x, and didn’t find it,” or, “I was not looking anymore, and then I found x.” A novel says, “I looked for x, and found a, b, c, g, q, r, and w.” The novel consists of all the irrelevant garbage, the absorbency effort to redeem that garbage, to integrate it into about computerized system Life Itself, to redraw the boundaries of Life Itself. The novel is a fundamentally ironic form; hence its power of towels self-regeneration. Personal Statement For Cv. The short story is a fundamentally unironic form, and for this reason I think it is doomed. When the available literary forms no longer match the available real-life content, the novel can reabsorb the mismatch and use it as material.
The canonical example is Don Quixote , a work which, according to his prologue, Cervantes conceived in a prison cell in Seville. Cervantes wanted to absorbency research write a chivalric romance, but the gap between this form and his experience was too great. Then he broke through the formal “prison”: he made the for school gap the subject of a book. Many of the Best American stories are set in absorbency prisons and psychiatric hospitals. They are trying to break out, but I don’t think they will. One of the most interesting contributions, Kelly Link’s “Stone Animals,” is about a family who moves into statement for cv a new house that, very gradually, turns out to be “haunted.” First a toothbrush becomes haunted, then the coffee machine, the downstairs bathroom. The haunted rooms can no longer be used; the house becomes equivalent to Cervantes’s cell: all the narrative possibilities have been sealed off.
The family has less and absorbency towels research, less space in which to live. Essay. The last sentence is paper research creepy and vaguely polemical: “In a little while, the dinner party will be over on making and the war will begin.” Indeed, let the war begin. Today’s literary situation is absorbency research such that virtually all writers must, at least initially, write short stories. Narrative Essay Writing. Several of the Best American stories, “Stone Animals” among them, are really novelistic plots crammed into twenty pages. The short story is trying to expand into a catchall genre. Paper Towels Research. In fact, the novel is, at present, the only catchall genre we have; and it is shrinking. Novels have gotten so short lately, with the exception of those that have gotten very long.
Most of the long novels fit under James Wood’s designation of good literature essay “hysterical realism”—which, while ostensibly opposed to Puritan minimalism, actually shares its basic assumption: writing as a form of self-indulgence and vanity. The difference is that, instead of towels research eschewing what they consider to be wicked, the hysterical realists are forever confessing it. The recursions of David Foster Wallace and Dave Eggers—“I confess that I, reprehensibly, want to be loved; this very confession is another reprehensible ploy to make you love me”—are a dreary Catholic riposte to a dreary Protestant attack. It would be equally productive for on making choices every writer to start every book with an absorbency paper research, apology for cutting down trees which could have been put to better use building houses for the homeless; followed by a second apology for the paper consumed by the first apology. Here is the crux of the good problem, the single greatest obstacle to American literature today: guilt.
Guilt leads to the idea that all writing is self-indulgence. Absorbency Paper. Writers, feeling guilty for not doing real work, that mysterious activity—where is it? On Wall Street, at Sloane-Kettering, in Sudan?—turn in shame to the notion of writing as “craft.” (If art is aristocratic, decadent, egotistical, self-indulgent, then craft is post completion useful, humble, ascetic, anorexic—a form of whittling.) “Craft” solicits from towels, them constipated “vignettes”—as if to say: “Well, yes, it’s bad, but at least there isn’t too much of admission it.” As if writing well consisted of overcoming human weakness and bad habits. As if writers became writers by omitting needless words. American novelists are ashamed to absorbency paper towels research find their own lives interesting; all the rooms in the house have become haunted, the available subjects have been blocked off. About System. What remains to absorbency be written about? (A) nostalgic and historical subjects; (B) external, researched subjects, also sometimes historical; (C) their own self-loathing; and/or (D) terrible human suffering. Professional Personal. For years, Lorrie Moore has only written about cancer. In A Heartbreaking Work of towels research Staggering Genius , Dave Eggers implies that anyone who does not find his story compelling is unsympathetic to cancer victims; he describes in on making good choices gory detail how he plans to eviscerate such people, how he plans to be eviscerated by absorbency paper towels research them in turn. For writers who aren’t into cancer, there is the Holocaust, and of course the professional statement for cv items can be recombined: cancer and the Holocaust, cancer and American nostalgia, the paper towels research Holocaust and post, American nostalgia. For the paper research last combination, you can’t do better than Michael Chabon’s The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier Clay , with its memorable opening sentence: In later years, holding forth to an interviewer or to an audience of completion opt thesis aging fans at a comic book convention, Sam Clay liked to paper research declare, apropos of personal statement for cv his and Joe Kavalier’s greatest creation, that back when he was a boy, sealed and absorbency paper towels, hog-tied inside the airtight vessel known as Brooklyn New York, he had been haunted by dreams of completion opt thesis Harry Houdini.
All the elements are there: the nicknames, the clauses, the five w’s, the physical imprisonment, the nostalgia. Paper. (As if a fictional character could have a “greatest creation” by the first sentence—as if he were already entitled to be “holding forth” to “fans.”) Throughout the novel, Chabon does actually generate a fair amount of nostalgia—but then he goes and choices, dumps the entire burden of character development on the Holocaust. Joe Kavalier is a master magician, an escape artist, a writer of fabulous comic books, a charismatic and fundamentally mysterious person—until, that is, Chabon explains to us that the reason Kavalier became an escape artist was to escape from absorbency towels, Hitler. The reason he could produce a blockbuster cartoon superhero was that he had a psychological need to for cv create a hero who could knock Hitler’s lights out on a weekly basis. W. G. Sebald’s Austerlitz has a nearly identical premise, minus the American nostalgia. It, too, features an authorial stand-in, a la Sam Clay, who finds in some other person a source of narrative. Austerlitz is, like Kavalier, a human enigma who disappears for years on end, leaving trails of clues; in the end, the “solution” is nothing other than the Final Solution. Absorbency Research. Austerlitz’s and Kavalier’s parents both perished, peculiarly enough, in the same Czech ghetto, Terezin.
Austerlitz and Kavalier are both obsessed with moths; they both have Holocaust-induced problems with women. (Austerlitz’s one love affair, with a woman called Marie, fizzles out during a trip to Marienbad, where he is oppressed by an inexplicable terror; later we understand that it’s because he is actually Jewish, and his parents were killed in the Holocaust, and good essay, once they went on vacation to Marienbad.) It’s not that the big pathologies can’t be written about, or can’t be written about well; Oates’s “The Cousins” ( Best American 2005), for example, is about both the Holocaust and cancer, and is still a good story. It consists of the letters between two cousins, aging women: one survived the Holocaust and absorbency towels research, became a famous writer, the other grew up in America and completion, became a retiree in Florida. They were supposed to meet as children, but never did. The twist is that both cousins are interesting and mysterious; both have suffered; and they are bound by some hereditary, unarticulated, Zolaesque link.
Among the novelists who write about the Second World War, I confess that my favorite is Haruki Murakami. Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle opens with a small, personal mystery—the disappearance of the narrator’s cat—which turns out to paper towels research be related to how the narrator never really understood his wife, who also disappears. The two disappearances are subsequently linked to the occupation of essay good Manchuria, the absorbency paper research torture killing of post opt thesis a Japanese soldier, and various other personal and global events. The narrator is moved by paper towels all the big historical themes that pass through the novel, but he suffers more immediately from the loss of personal his cat—as in Brueghel’s picture of the farmer ploughing his field while Icarus drowns. Absorbency Towels Research. We never learn exactly what the Manchurian occupation has to good literature essay do with the missing cat. The big historical mysteries are related to, but do not seamlessly explain, the small everyday mysteries. By contrast, I feel sure that if Sebald or Chabon had written Wind-Up Bird , the narrator would have discovered that his own father had been killed in the Manchurian campaign, and absorbency paper, that’s why his wife left him and his cat ran away. Murakami isn’t the world’s greatest novelist; you could say that his novels are all “botched” on some basic level. Good Literature. The turns in the plot are often achieved unsatisfyingly, by dreams, or by a character deciding to absorbency towels research sit in the bottom of a well; the narrators receive an inordinate amount of oral sex from bizarrely dressed middle-aged women.
But botchedness also gives Murakami’s novels a quixotic dynamism. Murakami’s latest work, Kafka on the Shore , contains a prescient discussion on the subject of minor novels—in fact, on a minor novel called The Miner . Essay On Making. The Miner is about a young man who has an unhappy love affair, runs away from home, ends up working in a mine alongside “the dregs of society,” and absorbency paper, then returns to his ordinary life. “Nothing in the novel shows he learned anything from these experiences, that his life changed, that he thought deeply now about the meaning of professional statement for cv life or started questioning society,” Murakami’s narrator explains: it is absorbency research completely unclear why the post author decided to write The Miner —which makes it particularly valuable to the narrator, by virtue of its very openness. Literature needs novels like The Miner , where you go into the mine and nothing happens; novels unlike Germinal , where you go into the mine and come out absorbency paper a socialist. Perhaps modern American literature has kept the worst parts of Zola. About Computerized System. We lost the genetic mysticism and the graphomania—all of us, perhaps, except Joyce Carol Oates—and we kept the guilty social conscience. Dear American writers, break out towels of the jail!
Sell the haunted house, convert it to tourist villas. Puncture “the airtight vessel known as Brooklyn New York.” Write long novels, pointless novels. Do not be ashamed to grieve about personal things. Dear young writers, write with dignity, not in guilt. How you write is how you will be read. My Life and Times in American Journalism. Like Oedipus, we flout the post completion opt thesis warning, and we’ll act surprised, even outraged, when we find out research what we’ve done.
Every now and then he looked up to introductions ask what Evo was saying, since at paper towels research, his seventy-two years of age, Hugo Blanco is essay good choices nearly deaf. The problem with autonomy and end-of-life decisions is largely a problem of absorbency towels research information. It is not possible to be a German. If it were, hardly anyone would like to be one. If anyone would stop doing his job should his income drop to $100,000 a year, he should not be doing that job. Issue 4 Gut-Level Legislation, or, Redistribution Mark Greif. Issue 4 My Life and for school admission, Times in American Journalism Philip Connors. All useful poetry criticism since the ’60s has come either from paper research, academics or from people committed to little magazines.
Literature is only an art. If it improves you, it does so the narrative writing way health, riches, and elegant clothes do. There are plenty of clones, yes, but like Dolly the sheep, they age quickly and soon die. In the age of BookScan, only an absorbency towels research, unpublished writer is allowed to keep his dignity. It is in literature an aroused consciousness that the solace and excitement of literature are to be found. As vague a categorical designation as “literary fiction” is, it bestowed on towels research non-genre novels the gift of a brand. In paying homage to sincerity, “post-ironic” fiction more often confirms its exile from the truth. Our generation seems far too aware that reading is for school safe and fun, that literature is spectacle. Issue 4 Why Repeat These Sad Things? Meline Toumani.
Issue 4 The Mystery Guest Gregoire Bouillier. Issue 4 Afternoon of the Sex Children Mark Greif. Issue 4 Two Stories John Haskell. Issue 4 Melodramatic Installations Ilya Kliger. Issue 4 Three Stories Rebecca Schiff.
Issue 4 The Joy of Edge Tools Misha Hoekstra. You, dear reader, are also supposed to be a clone among clones. And really, who’d be the wiser? Never trust a man who insists that he is sincere. How does Vollmann intend to be helpful, to save a life, to benefit someone?
Issue 2 Babel in California Elif Batuman. Go to Uzbekistan now . . . or you will never get departmental funding ever again? A specter is haunting the paper towels academy—the specter of personal statement for cv close reading. Issue 9 Summer in Samarkand, Part II Elif Batuman. n+1 is a print and digital magazine of literature, culture, and politics published three times a year.
We also post new online-only work several times each week and publish books expanding on the interests of the magazine.
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number of extended family living throughout the research country and some surrounding areas. Good? My dad is full Palestinian and he moved here with my grandparents when he . was nineteen years old along with his sister and a few aunts, uncles, and many cousins. I was about twelve years old when I took my first flight to absorbency towels research Israel with my dad. Completion Opt Thesis? In fact, it was the first time I had ever been on a plane and with the flight expectancy of the absorbency paper towels trip being 15 hours or more, I was pretty terrified. Not having my mom there with me.
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Anatomy of Estrangement and Reconciliation. Anatomy of Estrangement and absorbency, Reconciliation. This essay is longer than usual, but I think it will be worth reading:-) Estrangements can occur in any relationship. Within my friendship circle, I know people who are estranged from a child, a sibling, parents, grandparents, spouses and friends. The more people I talk to, the more I realize that family estrangement is far more prevalent than I imagined.
It is so shaming to be estranged from a family member that many of us don’t talk about it. Good Literature Introductions? Yet I believe that estrangements are the family system’s way of breaking open—sometimes in very painful ways—so that healing can begin. If we see it that way, we don’t need to dwell on the shame but can rather see the potential for healing. Working through estrangements in a healing way may be one of the most graced experiences in our lives. Let me tell you the stories of several families with painful estrangements. Karen’s eldest daughter announced that she no longer wanted to be associated with any of the family, especially during holidays. Before that announcement, she talked with Karen on the phone for two hours to tell her everything Karen had done to towels ruin her life. Then she and her grandchildren stayed away (and allowed Karen no contact) for six years. Joy and her sister and about computerized enrollment system, mother: Joy’s mother and sister send her hate mail periodically, including a snake skin in a bag, delivered to her door, because they say she has neglected them and has not provided for them. Absorbency Paper Towels? But her sister works full time at a job she’s held for twenty-five years.
The two lived with Joy for several years because she felt responsible for providing them with a home, but the narrative essay writing constant conflict drained her emotionally and financially and she finally asked them to leave. Her mother became preoccupied with blame, shame, hatred, anger and the need to punish her daughter. Two of paper Joy’s other siblings have committed suicide and Joy feels her mental health depends on not having any contact with her mother and sister. Lou’s alcoholic brother has not been involved in the family for more than twenty years. He was the oldest and the only son among five children. Lou’s mother favored him and when he began to stay away from the family after high school, her mother supported him and took his side against the rest of the family.
He married four times and a few of his former spouses are friendly with the family. Essay For School Admission? When Lou saw her brother at her mother’s funeral, she had not talked to him for ten years. Sharon thought she and her daughter had worked through the problems that came from a boyfriend of Sharon’s having inappropriately touched the daughter when she was a teenager. But now, as her daughter enters midlife, she is accusing Sharon of many other things that she says happened during that time. Absorbency Research? Sharon went to counseling with her only to be attacked by two ardent therapists, one of whom said she was there as Sharon’s advocate.
Sharon believes that her daughter is being set against good literature essay introductions her. Ned’s brother is homeless in a large metropolitan area. Paper Towels Research? They have several other siblings but the homeless brother does not see any of thesis about enrollment them often. Their mother feels a lot of absorbency paper research guilt about the loss of this relationship and their father goes to see Ned’s homeless brother whenever he can find him. Occasionally the homeless brother shows up at statement family events and wants to be involved, but his behavior is disruptive and makes for hard feelings among the siblings. The homeless brother has tried to deal with his multiple issues but nothing seems to towels improve the narrative about situation. Steps on the Path of absorbency paper towels research Estrangement and Reconciliation. One of the narrative essay about writing first steps in the process of absorbency reconstruction, for an individual and for a relationship, is owning the estrangement. Many families try to keep these estrangements a secret, perhaps out of on making choices pain and shame, but also hoping that by not mentioning them they will somehow go away. Absorbency Towels? But in on making choices acknowledging the pain and telling the story to a person we feel safe with, we allow the pain out into the fresh air of healing for the first time. It helps to use a wise and absorbency paper towels research, trusted professional—a therapist or a spiritual director—in the process of healing.
And if we make our spirituality a part of the process we stand a better chance of healing and making amends than if our soul is not involved. Praying, writing about the about writing issues, doing rituals of forgiveness and absorbency research, making amends are all spiritual in nature. This is Holy ground and completion opt thesis, the courage it takes to do this work can be supported and encouraged by absorbency paper towels our faith. Forgiveness and healing are part of a process that changes us, even though the timing of each step is different for good literature, each person. The Hard Times in the Middle. Choosing not to be codependent: It is especially hard for “good mothers” not to overwork the process of reconciliation with their children. Our culture has so much pain and absorbency paper towels research, shame around this issue that we rush to make amends and we work much harder than the other person does.
And if we get either no response or a negative response, we work even harder to restore the relationship. Professional Personal Statement For Cv? It may be helpful to reach out to the estranged person in love during an estrangement but discernment is towels, key here. What is a genuine compassionate act of love and what is our need to be redeemed. If we find we are consistently overreaching toward the other person, we may be dropping into codependent or addictive behavior. Choosing self-care and safety over completion opt thesis premature reconciliation: The pain of estrangement is so great that often we try to reconcile to ease the pain rather than to heal the cause of the estrangement. We give up ourselves and absorbency paper towels, sometimes even our own emotional safety. So it is essential to take good care of ourselves during a time of estrangement.
This includes body, mind and spirit. A team of supporters—friends, a doctor, a spiritual director, a pastor, and a therapist—can be helpful. The pressure on children whose parents are estranged is good literature essay, enormous, especially as parents grow older and need care. Towels? Resentment of older adults is a growing issue as baby boomers’ aging parents become dependent. We face so much pressure to be responsible, to be good sons and daughters, that we get caught in an excruciating vise—sometimes at the risk of our own safety or well-being. It is essay, not an absorbency paper research, easy road nor are there simple answers. A lot of physical symptoms are related to resentment, unhealed relationships, revenge and remorse. Essay For School? One way to enter into the healing process is simply to paper towels watch and read your own physical symptoms, using a guide such as Dr. Completion Opt Thesis? Chris Northrup, Carolyn Myss, Wayne Muller or Louise Hay, who all attach emotional and absorbency paper towels research, spiritual issues to bodily symptoms. For instance, jaw problems like TMJ may be associated with anger, resentment or a desire for revenge.
Dry eye may be associated with anger, spite or a refusal to see with love. These symptoms can alert our psyches to essay choices a deeper meaning, a deeper need, and help us look more deeply to the healing that is available to us. Finding your role in the estrangement; remorse and absorbency research, compassion: Many people who summon the courage to tell their estrangement stories get stuck at that stage. They find relief in telling the story, but the next step is still hard. Acknowledging guilt, anger and resentment is difficult, especially when family members are involved. But each of these feelings, once acknowledged, leads to new awareness and potentially to narrative about writing healing. Absorbency Research? For instance, the computerized other side of absorbency paper towels guilt is resentment. So when you feel guilt, ask, “Who or what do I resent?” That gives you another way to unwrap the situation causing the guilt.
Just learning to name feelings is a long-term process for those of us who were not given permission to feel in our families. The process is like unpeeling an onion. Every layer reveals yet another. At some point in every healing process is an opportunity to step back and look at the part you played or still play. What did you do that you are sorry for now? What choice did you make that you would now want to change? Was there someone you needed to stand up to choices and didn’t? Was there a point at which you decided, usually subconsciously, to towels research keep going in a direction that would be unsafe or unwise for essay, yourself or for others. In the essay “Forgiveness as a Process,” I’ve written in more depth about this step. It is a healing moment when you feel compassion for the person you were at an earlier time, the paper towels research person who couldn’t make a decision to change the course of a relationship.
Compassion allows you to act on your own behalf and to be more of the person you want to be. It also allows you to have more compassion for personal statement for cv, the other person if you choose to. Deciding to Make Contact with the Estranged Person. Knowing when and how to make contact: If you choose to make contact with the person you’re estranged from and you have done as much of paper your own inner work as you can, you have a number of ways to move forward, but premature contact may be unwise. However, mistakes that occur with premature contact may also be good teaching experiences. These mistakes help you to be clear about post, what you really want to do and what is wise for you to do.
My therapist asked a good question as a guideline: “Who are you making this contact for, yourself of the other person?” Let prayer undergird anything you do and provide a way to listen for the best way to make contact. Absorbency Paper Towels Research? Several ways to post opt thesis make contact are possible, depending on your comfort level and the willingness of the other person. One is to write a letter of amends (the essay on forgiveness as a process contains an absorbency research, illustration of this) which you either send or simply write for its own sake. This works best when you write it as a vehicle for your own amends and not as a way to get the other person to essay on making choices make amends. Another approach is to do a ritual of forgiveness that you do not tell the other person about paper, but that will have an affect on essay writing the relationship because it releases something in you. Absorbency? Some people reconcile in the presence of therapists, one for essay for school admission, each member of the conflict, representing that person but having everyone’s interests at heart. Others meet alone with the person they are estranged from, although this can be risky if either party is not healed enough to be responsible for his or her own feelings.
Still other people do something special for the person, or give something special, to show that their heart is open. A genuine act of love with no expectations in return is powerful for paper towels research, the giver and the receiver. But again, this works best when people do it for themselves and for its own sake, not with the expectation of a response. Sometimes it takes years before an act of grace is acknowledged, and it may even heighten the friction in essay the short run. Once you make the first step, a waiting time occurs, and this is when you have to release the other person. If there is to be any contact, it will come in time and within a process. You have done what you could and that is enough. Just keep reminding yourself that you have done what you could. Reconciliation is wonderful when it happens, but it is not an all-or-nothing experience. People often find only absorbency paper research, a hint of reconciliation, or find nonverbal reconciliation.
A reconciliation event may last a few minutes or an post, hour, and then the towels relationship may resume with much, but not all, of its previous dynamic. If any kind of mutual reconciliation has occurred, both of you will know that something is different. Narrative Writing? Some relationships do ultimately heal, and they are transformed in the process. Any level of reconciliation is sheer grace. And sometimes reconciliation means that you acknowledge what happened, make some kind of paper towels research amends and have no further contact with the other person. This too can be a deeply healing experience. So reconciliation is complex, but just being on professional the journey of reconciliation is so vital to our emotional and spiritual health that any level of absorbency towels change adds to our lives. Stories of Ongoing Reconciliation Are Rarely Ideal or Complete. Karen and her daughter : Karen had almost no contact with her daughter or grandchildren for six years but kept them in her prayers and worked on her own issues and completion opt thesis, feelings of loss.
They later experienced limited reconciliation; Karen sees her daughter infrequently and works to maintain boundaries, since her daughter still flings barbs occasionally. For Karen the relationship is healthier and she is grateful for what she has learned about herself and her daughter. In addition, Karen was given a deep and research, loving relationship with her stepdaughter during her estrangement with her own daughter. Her stepdaughter became a surrogate daughter and for school, offered her the love and closeness that Karen was missing. It was like a gift from absorbency paper towels research God, acknowledging the hard work she was doing, both inside herself and with her daughter. Joy and professional statement for cv, her sister and research, mother : Joy has chosen to complete two degrees in psychology since the essay on making good break with her mother and sister, and absorbency paper towels research, she is deeply aware of the mental health issues in good essay her family. She did not react to the hate mail or the phone calls and viewed the situation from a healthy distance, even though it saddens her.
She finally made peace with the towels fact that she would never be in contact with them again. When Joy’s mother was dying, though, she had a chance to break through the silence and go see her, avoiding her sister, delicately, in about system the process. Her mother slowly opened her heart to her and they were much closer when she died. Since then Joy has also had much easing of absorbency research tension with her sister and gradually they became friends. Personal Statement For Cv? Joy is good at taking care of herself and paper, still knows her vulnerabilities with her family. On Making Good? The experience has been a source of absorbency paper deep healing for her. Lou and her brother: Lou’s brother is essay choices, still not back in the family but he did appear at his mother’s funeral a few years ago. He seemed depressed but he was no longer drinking. He is in declining health and maintains contact with his father but not the sisters. Sharon and her daughter: Sharon is in the middle of the turmoil and is asking what she can do to understand the situation and act in her own best interest. She loves her daughter but feels defensive when they meet.
She has good support through her recovery community, so she will be able to cope, but she is absorbency, still reeling from the professional personal statement for cv shock that this could happen to her and her daughter. Ned and his brother: Ned’s brother is still on drugs and homeless, and that has caused the absorbency paper towels research family to turn inward a bit. Instead of just reacting to him and his situation, they are starting to understand his role in the family. They still have to narrative essay about set boundaries on his behavior when he is high, but they are finding ways to be with him when he’s not high. They have also acknowledged that he is the towels family scapegoat—the one who carried and acted out most of the family pain. This knowledge is bringing them to a new recognition of the family dynamic and has given them more compassion for themselves and for their brother. He may never be cured but the family may heal at a deeper level. O Janet O. Hagberg, 2005, from Living Into the Light , a e-Book available at http://www.janethagberg.com. 1. Would you consider moving more deeply into about, the healing process of an estrangement in your life?
Why? Why not? 2. What would healing this estrangement ask of you? 3. What would your family think or how would they act if you were to move forward to heal a family estrangement? 4. How would that affect you? 5. Paper Towels Research? Have you ever had an experience of making amends or healing from an completion opt thesis, estrangement? What was it like? How did it change you?
6. Absorbency? How is the Holy involved in your reconciliation effort? What difference does it make for you?