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resume monarchical NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF US INDEPENDENCE. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE (2000) The Revocation of Indpendence as executed by Alan Baxter Peter Rieden, 8 th Nov 2000, apparently inspired by an email sent by Dan Fox (who claims to be the ultimate originator) or Kevin O'Connor (who also claims to be the ultimate originator). This version was compiled 21 st Nov 2000, compiled from several different versions. Early drafts, showing how it grew, are further down. Responses and related pieces are also included further down. Important note: The Revocation of food restaurants be banned, Independence is NOT by John Cleese. During 2005, a version was wrongly attributed to thesis and assignment, him and was circulated crediting Cleese as the should fast food be banned essay author. He did not write it. It was present on Usenet and the Internet long before his name became associated with it.
To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to essays on reality tv being real, elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in fast food restaurants, the transition to on reality, a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to should restaurants be banned essay, spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and expository worksheets the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. Essay. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often. 2. Romeo Essay Question. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the fast food essay reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. Anderson. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about should restaurants essay, regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in romeo and juliet, England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to should fast be banned, cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only introduction to immigration, after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American football. There is should food only one kind of football. What you refer to essays, as American football is restaurants be banned essay not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is to immigration a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in should food be banned essay, time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of and assignment writing anderson, America. Since only fast food restaurants be banned, 2.15% of thesis and assignment writing anderson, you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of fast food restaurants, baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. Blanche Essay. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is food restaurants be banned a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for 5hit. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 8. July 4th is english essay no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. Fast Food Essay. It will be called Indecisive Day. 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on expository essays the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the fast restaurants be banned essay British sense of humour. 10. You will learn to make real chips.
Those things you call French fries are not real chips. On Reality Tv Being Real. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the should restaurants be banned essay guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on introduction to immigration essay calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of should fast essay, Boston itself. 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. Writing Anderson. If you're not adult enough to should fast restaurants, sort things out essays worksheets without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun. 15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from should fast be banned essay Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to of mice and men literature essay, 1776).
Thank you for restaurants be banned essay, your cooperation. (2000) ALAN BAXTER'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. From a company Intranet newsgroup and read: London, 8th November 2000. To the citizens of the United States of America, 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of God save the Queen 3. Start referring to english literature, soccer as football. 4. Declare war on Quebec. (2000) PETER RIEDEN'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
The following is the text of a message which was communicated to President Clinton at should restaurants essay, 07:30 (EST) today: To the dubois citizens of the United States of America from Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. USANIAN FORM OF 15 POINT NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of fast food be banned, Her Majesty, the writing Queen of England, To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of should fast restaurants, your failure to elect anybody as President of the and juliet essay USA, and thus to fast restaurants be banned essay, govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey. Romeo Act Iii. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the fast food restaurants be banned essay following acts: 1. Look up revocation in the now official Oxford Dictionary.
Start spelling English words correctly. 2. Expository Essays. Learn at should food essay, least the first four lines of God Save The Queen. 3. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Declare war on expository essays worksheets Quebec and France. 5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. 6. Close down the National Football League. Learn to should fast food restaurants be banned essay, play rugby.
7. Enjoy warm, flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. 8. Train waitresses to romeo and juliet question, be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat. 9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday; this has been replaced with Nov. Should Fast Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay. 5. 10. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take six weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks. 11. Driving on the left side of the thesis anderson road is now compulsory. Recall all vehicles to effect the change immediately. 12. Report to our Consulate General in New York for your new passport and job allocation.
13. Have Meg Ryan report to Prince Andrew's bedchamber. 14. Add the royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument and the Queen's Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial. 15. Stop referring to should food be banned essay, the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the expository essays National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. (2000) REPLY TO THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of should food restaurants, Her Majesty, the Queen of England, In the light of and juliet, your failure to fast, prevent us from kicking you out in the 18th century and essay doing as we damn well please, we hereby notify you that you can keep it down over there before we take notice. Sure, historically America really doesn't pay much attention to the rest of the world. But when someone does catch our eye, we tend to fast be banned, carpet bomb them to essays tv being, a pre-industrial state.
It may not be right, or fair, but it is a trend. I suggest you keep it in mind. To aid in your realization that you should pipe down, the following facts are listed: 1. American English is distinct from British English. Our aluminum is a lovely silver color, and we do not 'armour' our tanks, thank you. 2. When you can tell the difference between an Alabama and Louisiana accent, I'll pay attention to should fast food essay, the difference between a Londoner's and essays tv being a Yorkshireman's accents. 3. Should Fast Be Banned Essay. Rather than God save the Queen; you should learn The Battle Hymn of the Republic.
After all, if it weren't for American soldiers you'd speak German today, twice over. And if it weren't for American bread, butter, etc., you would have been starving while we saved your little old island from the Hun. 4. Introduction To Immigration Essay. If I were to throw an American football block on football player, he'd be out of the should fast food game and I'd be ejected. If I were to throw a real tackle on a rugby player, he'd be maimed. The pads in American football are to keep you from being crippled or killed.
Just because rugby players tear their ears in a group hug called a 'scrum'doesn't make them tough. You want tough? You put YOUR arms in essays on reality, theair while a 322 pound (46 stone) man slams into you at a dead sprint and still catch the ball. That's tough. 5. If you can't settle the should fast restaurants be banned essay French's hash, find someone else. After all, they have lost to everyone *but* the British this century.
6. The irony of a Brit complaining about American cars is too much. I've driven British cars and on reality they're like a Hyundai, but poorly made. Should Food Be Banned. When someone else comes up with an idea as good as the and juliet question muscle car, we'll think about it. To sum it all up, we really aren't interested in be banned essay, your opinion. Another immediate response from the US mentioned something about a large shipment of Tea (the Boston Tea Party for those not required to study US history). Then there was this . The Supreme Court of and juliet, Florida has instructed me to post the following to ensure strict balance in these turbulent times.
DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. To the imperialist British colonizers. In the light of your indecision over should essay, joining a common European Currency, your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European Governments and the fact that you already almost speak our language and refuse to speak any other European languages, you are to be annexed as a State of America. Your state code will be GB. Zip codes will be assigned to replace your old postal districts. The state capital will be Stratford-upon-Avon which is essays a lot prettier than London. Princess Diana will be declared a saint. You have already assimilated so much American culture that you are unlikely to notice the transition. Should Food Restaurants Essay. To aid in the assimilation, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up aluminum in any good American Dictionary. Check the to immigration spelling and should fast essay pronunciation guide. We discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. On Reality. Learn to live with it. You are, of course welcome to restaurants essay, your idiosyncratic and illogical place-names such as Edinburgh, if you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. You will quit using words such as fortnight. Thesis And Assignment Writing. The correct term is restaurants be banned essay a two week period.
You will learn words such as credenza, intern and chad. 2. There is no such thing as UK English. And Men. UK English is the relic of a defunct colonialist power which attempted to impose British English linguistic superiority on a nation which has a higher number of English speakers. 3. Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay. Your film-makers should learn to distinguish the essays American and Canadian accents. American accents are not limited to redneck drawls or New York accents. Mainland Americans have more than enough accents to cope with in fast be banned essay, our own country, so all British dramas will now bear subtitles, especially those made in to immigration essay, impenetrable dialects such as Scottish, Scouse or Geordie. To make life easier for should food, mainland America, all British films and TV programs must use American vocabulary and accents; Scotch characters will wear plaid, Irish characters will have shamrocks on them, Welsh characters will not be used since we don't have Welsh Americans, and introduction English characters will wear bowler hats and pinstripes. 4. Food. The British film industry will no longer portray all Americans as cowboys, rednecks, trailer trash or Beverly Hills billionaires. Hollywood will continue to use Mockney and Posh British accents as this makes it easier for viewers to thesis and assignment writing anderson, identify which characters are British. Should Food Restaurants Essay. You can have Hugh Grant back.
He's a lousy actor and romeo question we don't want him either. All British films will be made in Hollywood where the weather and scenery are better. Your film industry is already unable to should food be banned essay, make a halfway-decent film which doesn't contain a American in the starring role. All American characters should be 'good guys'. 5. You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner.
It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and introduction to immigration essay your places of work. Your Union Flag will be hung up any damn way we wish so stop bitching about it being upside down. If there was meant to should restaurants be banned essay, be a right way up you should have made it simpler. All Union flags will be replaced by the Stars and Stripes over a 12 month period of time. 6. You should stop playing soccer and rugby. Expository. There is food no need to have two games, one of and men essay, which is confusingly like Football and one of which is should fast restaurants be banned essay called football but patently isn't real football. Essays On Reality. If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football.
You should also stop playing cricket. Restaurants Be Banned. Americans can't understand the rules. If you insist on playing this game which is only played by former British colonies, you will introduce a simplified scoring system, timeouts, colored strips and cheerleaders to make it more interesting. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. 7. In films, as in real life, we decide who the essays bad guys are.
The bad guys are those guys who don't do as we tell them. They are also the guys who attract the fast essay biggest audiences into movie theaters. You will cease using the word cinema. Introduction To Immigration Essay. They are movie theaters. The snippets of should be banned essay, forthcoming films are not trailers they are teasers. 8. Act Iii Question. November 5 th is no longer a day for fast food restaurants, fireworks. July 4th is the appropriate fireworks festival. If you want a big fireworks party on November 5 th , we will help you to dubois critical, blow up your Houses of Parliament.
You won't be needing them any longer; Disneyland London will be situated there. Fast Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay. Hunting with packs of dogs is also banned. Essay. Instead, you will go hunting with a pick-up truck, some six-packs of beer, two coonhounds and enough guns and ammo to equip a private militia. There is also no such activity as caravanning. It is properly called camping. The thing boy scouts do with tents and bedrolls is called tenting. 9. Roundabouts will be banned.
What is the food essay point of turning left in and assignment, order to turn right? They are confusing to Americans and are death traps. You will start driving on the right with immediate effect. Most of the world drives on be banned the right already. You will be allowed to turn right on a red light if safe to do so though you must check local county legislation as this is not permitted in all areas. 10. Those things which you call chips are cholesterol-soaked abominations. You will start to eat fries - light fluffy potato in crisp coating. If you want to eat British-style fried potato sticks you will need a certificate from your doctor and good medical insurance. Romeo. Beer is to be served cold.
The warm, flat drink you call beer is properly termed 'ale' and should fast restaurants essay the FDA have determined it to be unfit for human consumption. You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to introduction essay, avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. 11. All inter-personal communications between family members, even if resident in the same house, must be through a lawyer. It is compulsory to sue somebody at least once per year - be inventive. It is compulsory to fast restaurants, have therapy three times each week and to recover false memories of your childhood which allow you to sue your parents and/or your therapist. Literature. Therapy will take the place of speaking to family members. You will be given compulsory courses on should fast food restaurants how to become dysfunctional.
Name your children after interesting medical conditions. 12. You will not have guns. In the eyes of Mainland Americans you are wayward children. Of Mice Literature. Children are not permitted to play with firearms unless they have a legitimate reason to do so i.e. they plan to should restaurants be banned, gun down the dubois critical population of a small town (self-defense) or slaughter every living creature within a mile radius (hunting). Thank you for your co-operation. You will be assimilated.
Footnote: Resistance is futile. Food Be Banned Essay. Just ask Hawaii. By the essays worksheets way, Ireland and Scotland should be separate states. They have entirely different cultures and languages from the Norman fops. To avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states (the reason for food restaurants be banned essay, NOT annexing Mexico), Canada, Australia, New Zealand, should become independent nations. The Falkland Islands should become an American Protectorate like Puerto Rico, Samoa, The Philippines, Guam and other places that are neat to vacation. America should take back Hong Kong immediately. TO THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND:
We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. Thesis Writing. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a backwards step by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:
1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in should fast food, your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your aluminium example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name aluminum (note spelling) for the metal. Introduction Essay. However, in common usage the name evolved into aluminium to should food, match the act iii essay naming convention of be banned essay, other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to expository worksheets, the original spelling and pronunciation of the word, at should fast food restaurants essay, which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to on reality real, point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and restaurants essay a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. On Reality Tv Being. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by fast be banned, a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Expository Essays Worksheets. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and fast food essay then we'll talk about the critical English and Australian accent issue. 3. Should Fast Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay. Review your basic arithmetic. Essays Real. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and should fast be banned 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked Lock, Stock, and romeo and juliet Two Smoking Barrels, Trainspotting, and The Full Monty. We've also heard good things about this Billy Elliot. But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Food Restaurants Essay. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt Candle In The Wind again for of mice english, you guys.
6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. Should Fast Restaurants. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to romeo act iii question, get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident. 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy.
However, there's a reason why the should best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to expository essays, the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the fast restaurants be banned essay French aren't the introduction essay spawn of Satan they'll teach you how to cook. 8. You're doing a terrible job at should fast food restaurants be banned, understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and tv being ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and should fast restaurants essay Aston Martins. That's why we bought the romeo and juliet act iii essay question companies. 9. Be Banned Essay. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for Teletubbies. Thank you for critical essay, your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.
PS: regarding WW2: You're Welcome. BILL CLINTON'S LETTER TO LIZ WINDSOR. The following was received from David Simpson of Fletcher Greenwood Co. I received it on 21st Dec 2000 in response to this history, but it is fast restaurants be banned essay dated 13th November. FROM: Bill Clinton. TO: Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elisabeth II. SUBJECT: Revocation of American Independence. DATE: November 13th 2000.
Ole George, Your Great Great Great Great Great Great Grand Pappy said we'd screw up over here in the Colonies and it's finally happened. This time it's got nothin to do with me, at least that's what my advisors say. Blanche Essay. I have really tried to stay outta the news and restaurants essay away from the babes to help Gore but he's no Goddamn use anyhow. He screwed up by himself this time. We'd agreed those ballot papers in Palm Beach cos we were tryin to confuse the hell outta the Republican voters. Guess that one back fired. So, 'bout this notice sent out sayin' you're reclaimin the colonies and takin over, well, we kinda feel it's cute you'd wanna have us back after all this time. One concern though, 'bout those back taxes, we need time to pay. Pretty soon I aint gonna have a job. I know Hillary' got a well-paid position now but she won't wanna have much to worksheets, do with me soon. She's still mad at restaurants, me 'bout Monica.
Every time I light a cigar she still cries and expository essays worksheets throws stuff. As for the national anthem. Well I was kinda wondrin if you'd let me play it on the Saxhorn for you sometime, it's been a while since I've had a good blow, but I'm practicing an' hopin'. Should Restaurants Essay. Had a word with the boys at the Pentagon 'bout nukin France and Quebec. They said it'd be no problem but are kinda worried the to immigration essay EU might renegade on the banana deal we worked out through the WTO. Also said somethin about should restaurants, a nuclear winter but guess it's close enough to Christmas for a bitta snow anyhow. You know Liz, one of the requests does kinda suck. On Reality Real. We like our football and the advertising guys are hoppin mad about the possible loss of income. They say soccer, sorry football don't have enough breaks to fill it up with advertisements and should essay that folk'll get bored. I gotta agree on this one Liz, for the sake of the American people, sorry, new British Subjects, I gotta stand my ground here. Anyhow, gotta go blow the horn with Monica and expository worksheets get learnin' this new tune.
Oh one more thang, don't suppose Tony could give me a job could he? DECLARATION OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA ON TAKING CHARGE OF THE AFFAIRS OF THE ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLES. The following announcement was found in should food essay, a corrugated iron outhouse West of Alice Springs -- some fecal matter has been removed but the text is still fairly clear, despite the beer stains. When, in the course of human events, it becomes clear that major powers have turned into circus acts, it becomes necessary for somebody to sort out the ensuing shambles. We won't even mention politics, just an internationally accepted yardstick for national ability, the Olympic Games.
Since the USA can't organize an Olympic Games without making a shambles of the business, and since the UK hasn't had a competitive Olympic team since 1908, then Australia has an overriding claim to national superiority. It remains true, of course, the US Olympic team won the most medals in the last games, whilst Australia came fourth, but that only proved that on a population basis it takes eight times as many Septic Tanks to win an Olympic gold medal as it takes Australians. It therefore becomes Australia's duty to take charge of expository, those nations who still know where their barbecues are kept. Washington and London will now take their guidance from Canberra. Canberra used to be an essay, excellent cow paddock but became the site of the political capital of Australia, which means there's far more bullshit there now than there ever was before. An address will be provided to romeo and juliet act iii question, those that need to communicate with the Australian government: one side of a postcard only please, and replies can be expected within a year or so. In the meantime, please obey God's eleventh Commandment to should restaurants be banned, the Aboriginals: don't do a thing until I get back to you. Political lobbyists will need to and assignment writing anderson, bring their own swags, billies and bush tucker until extra accommodation can be provided. (See below: Waltzing Matilda). Visitors can also expect to food restaurants essay, find themselves being sprayed with insecticide by customs officials when arriving on Australian soil.
As a courtesy to incoming guests we always provide the first layer of fly repellent free of charge. The other sixty five daily applications are your responsibility. You have our permission to worksheets, say the fast be banned essay word 'aluminum' any way you wish. Since Australia is the world's largest supplier of bauxite we don't give a shit what you call it, just as long as you keep making the stuff. Place names in all English speaking countries from english now on should be clear, simple and straightforward for all English speakers. Please write for an advisory leaflet from the restaurants Australian Centre for Sensible Place Names, Rabbitflats House, Rum Corp Road, Woolloomooloo, Sydney, New South Wales. Americans should be aware that a Chad is a traditional UK/Australian cartoon character. He has a big nose, a single strand of act iii question, curly hair and is always drawn with only the upper half of restaurants essay, his face visible over a brick wall.
Equally traditionally, Chad is always saying: Wot! No . Only the last word is altered to of mice english, suit the occasion. At present, of course, the fast food essay inscription would read: Wot! No President? A piece of paper punched out of a ballot paper is technically known internationally as shit-for-brains, since everybody else in the world has a population which is capable of drawing an introduction to immigration, X on should food a ballot paper. Only laboratory monkeys and American voters make decisions by and juliet act iii question, hanging on should fast essay handles. However the incoming Australian administration doesn't want to make too many radical changes. To Immigration. Simply be aware that in food restaurants, future the writing anderson US and UK will be required to restaurants essay, follow Australian voting procedures and that from now on writing anderson it is a criminal offence for a citizen not to food essay, vote.
Or at least it's an offence not to blanche dubois critical essay, attend a voting station. What you do in the booth is up to you. But at fast restaurants essay, least there's no need to spend any more time and money in trying to persuade voters to turn out. We, in turn, will abandon the proportional representation system. This system of voting was invented by the British mathematician who also wrote Alice In Wonderland. Not surprisingly, the results are always a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. We have no intention of altering anybody else's variety of expository essays, English, though personally, I'm agog to know how you meet with somebody.
Either you meet them or you don't. Food Be Banned Essay. There are of on reality, course cultural differences to be bridged but they can be done so profitably. For example, street kids in the US who deserve jail terms will instead be compelled to watch a four day cricket match and to answer questions afterwards: our own juvenile delinquents will be forced to watch the entire collection of Letterman shows and then to try to explain why the audiences laughed at any part of them. The Australian Minister for Culture has ordered that from now on all Hollywood films have Australian directors. Furthermore, they must also be joint Anglo-American productions, as that seems to be what it takes to make a decent movie nowadays. Fast Restaurants Be Banned. Notting Hill and tv being real Shakespeare in Love for example. We also demand a re-make of Dr Strangelove starring Bruce Willis: the highlight of the film is going to be when he gets dropped out of a B-52 riding on top of fast restaurants be banned, a nuclear bomb. Only this time it's going to be a real A-bomb and no stuntmen allowed: now die hard, you untalented prick! Oh yes, and all films are to thesis writing, be shot in Australia, where we have the sort of should fast, weather California thinks it has. We also have the best of everything else, including women, and at expository worksheets, half the price in fast food restaurants essay, the States. The Australian film industry also wants Mel Gibson back -- we're going to put him out to stud.
There is no need to change your national flags. All that is required is that you fly them below a pair of Elle McPherson's knickers, preferably used. The new international anthem, of course, is Waltzing Matilda. As you are aware, all other national anthems are about the superiority of one country over all other countries. Waltzing Matilda is about a sheep thief getting caught by the cops. It is therefore an anthem to private capitalism and stock option dealings in a marginal legal situation: Wall Street and the London Stock Exchange should both be proud to sing it out loudly every morning. From now on the only code of football which will be allowed in international matches is Australian Rules Football.
American football looks like a bunch of panic stricken plane handlers fighting to on reality tv being, get off the should fast be banned essay deck of essays worksheets, a sinking aircraft carrier: UK football looks like a gang of kids trying to pass the time in the yard of should restaurants essay, a school for the mentally retarded. Australian rules football is the blanche critical game the angels play: it's where the big men fly. Please be aware that in Australian English, to 'root' for a team means to food essay, have sexual intercourse for it, or with it. We're not trying to stop you from doing anything you want to, just making sure you understand your options. Act Iii Essay. Gay males should also be aware that scoring a behind in Aussie Rules is should fast food restaurants essay not what you might have hoped it was. After some considerable thought it has been decided to retain the Monarchy to rule over the English speaking world, but to make it more relevant to the present realities. Bill Gates will therefore be crowned King Geek The First. Hell, he owns most everything, so we might as well make it official. There's no point in building him a palace as he already lives in one, so Buckingham Palace will be turned into a backpacker's hostel for young Australians visiting the Former UK -- or Fukland, as it will have to be renamed. The House of Commons will be required to spend one day a week picking up empty beer cans from the Palace Gardens. Which means we'll get at least one day's useful work every week out of the sods.
Of course it's not interesting to writing anderson, have a King as dull as Bill I without any drama being injected into the Court. So he'll need a Vizier, just like in the Arabian Nights' Stories, as evil as Viziers traditionally are, a mendacious, cunning, word twisting, untruth telling Vizier, a duplicitous dog of a Vizier, a Vizier whose instincts are wolfish, savage, bloody, ravenous and starved. Rupert Murdoch has been approved by Australian central casting for the part. The duties of Vice Vizier are to be carried out by Homer Simpson. True, he's a cartoon character, but cartoon characters have been installed in should food, the US Vice President's Office for years and only Gary Trudeau noticed. You will be advised in due course whether King Geek II will be a carbon or silicon based lifeform. The question of which side of the road to drive on has been settled fairly. Dubois Critical. From midnight to twelve, it's on the right, from twelve to midnight it's on the left, and every alternative Thursday when there's a 'r' in the month and a full moon you can drive during the hours of darkness directly along the top of should fast restaurants, any white line you fancy.
If in doubt, please contact Robert Hughes, the well known Australian art critic and road safety expert. Unfortunately, but in essay, line with world opinion, we are going to have to insist on the cessation of capital punishment for criminals. However, we are prepared to strap offenders to an electric chair and force them to eat a Vegemite sandwich: if they decide they'd rather have the current turned on instead that's their choice. Vegemite is technically a yeast extract but to non-Australians tastes something like what your great grandparents might do if you dug them up, scraped some of the residue off the should food essay coffin walls and put it between two slices of bread. But although consuming Vegemite is not compulsory, all non-Australian citizens will be required to eat shark in romeo and juliet act iii essay question, their fish and chips. Except for lawyers, who are excused on fast food restaurants the grounds of of mice and men english literature essay, professional courtesy. Of course all non-Australian beer is to fast food essay, be immediately poured away down drains and of mice essay replaced with real beer: beer as cold as liquid oxygen, beer with more punch than Mike Tyson, beer which biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder, beer you can taste three blocks away from the pub. All the Milwaukee slops can go back into the barmaid's apron they were squeezed out of and as for should restaurants, British beer . Some dissension has arisen over cultural festivals and when is a suitable holiday to let off fireworks. Since we have no such days on our own calendar we Aussies have decided the best thing to do is to hand Northern Ireland over to the US as the 51st state.
After all, Washington seems so interested in introduction, getting a peace deal there that it might as well have the place. The idea is that the British get to let off their fireworks when the should fast essay last British soldiers leave Ireland, and the Irish factions will supply the US Peace Keeping forces with fireworks enough thereafter. Of course there are arguments that America is essay too powerful and too rich have any outside system imposed on her, and also that Americans are too proud to truckle to any kind of a King. Restaurants Essay. These arguments are, of course, specious. Too powerful? kicked out of Southern Vietnam, bombed out thesis and assignment of the Lebanon, self defeated at Desert One, ejected of restaurants, Ethiopia, not quite up to snuff for a ground war in blanche dubois, Kosova, unfortunately unavailable for East Timor, scuttled by a rowing boat. Should Fast Essay. What's the matter, can't you find somebody your own size? Or are you saving up the US Army to stand guard along the Tex-Mex border as part of Dubya's new approach to foreign policy? Too rich? Don't like Kings? Well, there's one monarchy the Americans will always fight for and that's the Saudi one. And everybody in and men essay, the West knows why.
If Saudi Arabia stopped selling oil the CLOSED signs would go up on gas stations right across the states and the West would have an economic down turn which would make the 1930's Depression look like just a bad day at restaurants essay, the office. Which is the real reason why Australians are desperate to see this Presidential farce settled. Look, our Prime Minister is dubois critical essay not exactly a charismatic super star. He could get lost in a crowd of two. Our Leader of the Opposition looks like a stranded whale in a suit. But they're both smart enough to know that if the US keeps on supporting Israel in the Jews' totally ruthless suppression of the Palestinians there's eventually going to be a reaction from the Arab masses. The day that Omar Bin Laden becomes the should food restaurants be banned President of the Peoples' Democratic Republic of Saudi Arabia is a day nobody in the West wants to see. To Immigration. But unless somebody can rein those Israeli imperialists in there will be a revolution in the Arab countries and Allah alone knows who'll be in charge when the smoke clears. Right now we need somebody in the Western world who'll give the Jews the straight news: you want to be banned, fight the tv being entire Muslin world, you do it on your own.
We don't know you, we're not subsidizing your army, and we're not going to should food restaurants essay, risk our oil supplies to keep the Jewish voters in the United States happy. But that's not a message that Gore or Bush would ever dare deliver -- not until it's too late. But they're all that we've got, and essays tv being we haven't even got one of them yet. Should Fast Food Be Banned. No wonder everybody else in the West is screaming in frustration. The Americans will still be squabbling away in the courts over a bunch of geriatric generated votes until the streets of expository essays, enemy occupied Palestine are filled with dead Arabs -- and when somebody lets off a suitcase nuclear bomb somewhere in revenge the only response from Washington will be more brainless screams of outrage about terrorism. As far as I can see President Clinton has made honourable efforts to avert a looming disaster in fast food restaurants be banned, the Middle East. But now the Ringmaster is leaving and on reality real all we've got left are two clowns taking turns at should fast be banned essay, kicking each other's butts. America and the world needs better, much better, than America has been able to come up with this time around. And now it looks as if everything which has made the US a great country is going to real, be dragged through the filth of the courts by a bunch of low life lawyers. (2000) NEW ZEALAND VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. This version, giving the USA to the Maori people, circulated on 20th November 2000.
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to should food be banned, elect a President and thus to govern yourselves properly, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has revoked your independence, effective immediately. Thesis And Assignment. However, she will not govern you herself because the Maori of New Zealand have claimed ownership of the USA. There is ample evidence that Maui discovered America after setting out from the ancestral homeland, Hawaiiki, in the wrong direction. Under the Treaty of Waitangi all Maori land that was illegally taken by the Crown will revert to Maori ownership. Ngai Tahu will resume administrative responsibility for all states except Florida, which they do not fancy.
Your new governor, Sir Tipene Oregan, will appoint a ministers to look after your affairs without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in should fast restaurants essay, the transition to an Aotearoa-New Zealand Dependency, the worksheets following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at should food restaurants, just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Thesis Writing Anderson. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to food restaurants essay, acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an dubois critical, unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Should Be Banned. Look up interspersed. 2. There is essays on reality no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on fast food your behalf. 3. Anderson. You should learn to distinguish the New Zealand and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast Russell Crowe and Tem Morrison as good guys. 5. You should relearn your new national anthem, God Defend New Zealand in English and Maori, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. All MacDonalds and food restaurants Burger King outlets will be closed down, and you will purchase fush and act iii essay chups, but only when you can pronounce them properly. 7. Any whales stranded on beaches will be the should fast be banned property of Ngai Tahu, and Sir Tipene must be notified immediately. 8. You will stop playing American football. It is a dreadful game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football ie. rugby, which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour like poofters. Initially, it would be best if you played in and men english, the women's competition. Should Fast Be Banned Essay. It is a difficult game, but with training you should be able to get together at introduction to immigration essay, least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
9. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. 10. July 4th will no longer be a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, called Indecision Day. 11. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you Holdens, you will understand what we mean. 12. Please tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us crazy. 13. Failure to comply with the should fast above will be taken very seriously and result in the severest of and men essay, punishments - Roger Douglas will be put in charge of your economy, and it will serve you right. Thank you for your co-operation. (DATE UNDETERMINED) CANADIAN VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
To the citizens of the United States of America. 1. In the light of should fast food restaurants be banned essay, your failure to elect a President of the United States, and thus govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective today. 2. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all States, Commonwealths and other Territories; with the exception of of mice, Utah, which she does not fancy. 3. Food Restaurants. Your new Prime Minister, The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who do not know that there is a world outside of your borders, will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections. 4. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you have noticed. 5. Introduction. To aid in the Transition to a British Overseas Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.
i. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up the word “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. ii. Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an should restaurants be banned essay, unacceptable and romeo essay inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed” iii. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
iv. You should learn to distinguish between the English and Australian accents. It really is food restaurants be banned essay not that hard. v. Hollywood will be required to occasionally to cast English actors as the “Good Guys”, and thesis and assignment Canadian actors not as Americans with funny accents. vi. You should relearn your original National Anthem, “God Save the Queen”. This is to fast food be banned, be carried out only after Task 1 is completed, as we do not want you to get confused and give up half way. vii. All Law Enforcement Agencies will be replaced with the essays Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who are very used to clearing up after your mess, and dealing with your criminal intent.
They do reserve the right to shoot you just because you are American. viii. You should declare war in should fast food be banned, Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any Merde. Of Mice Literature Essay. The 98.85% of you who are not aware that there is essay a outside of your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the “Bad Guys”. Thesis Writing Anderson. Merde is the French word for *beep* ix.
July the should fast 4th is no longer a Public Holiday. November the 8th will be a new National Holiday, but only in England and english Canada. This will be called “Indecisive Day”. x. All American cars are hereby banned. Restaurants Be Banned Essay. They are crap anyway, and english it is for fast restaurants, your own good. You will understand when we show you a German car.
xi. Please tell us who shot JFK. Of Mice And Men English Literature. We know it’s one of you but it’s been driving us nuts for years! 6. The preceding points are to be put into food be banned, effect immediately. Writing. Any questions regarding the Transition or its benefits, please contact Canada or Australia, as they have the should restaurants be banned entire system in order. 7. Thank you for your co-operation. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. Mark Simkiss wrote I wrote this around the US election and essays was happy to have seen it floating around the Internet at the time. I find the should be banned essay whole thing particularly interesting being an American of essays, both English and fast essay Irish decent, and the humor of the whole thing makes me smile every time I read any of the emails related to the situation. Blanche Critical Essay. Also, as you'll notice, there is a link at should fast restaurants, the end which is a pretty good resource for US/UK vocabulary.
It's pretty funny in fact, even if it is only 70% accurate in my best estimation. To those with the ability to read English, moreover, to tv being, speak it and have one’s accent understood, and to should restaurants be banned essay, those for whom humor is seen in humor and humour, this is the American response to mum’s response to our dilemma in America. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, to the Commonwealth of Nations, including, but not limited to, Canada (which is and juliet act iii question already a state, excluding Québec), Australia, New Zealand, Bermuda, Jamaica, etc., and any other nation lacking the inspiration to create for themselves a national flag not resembling the Union Jack: In light of the fact that although America stands firmly on her own two feet, this nation has been formed with ideas derived from some of the fast be banned children of the best free thinkers in 17 th century Great Britain, and has been rooted in such. Therefore, the citizens of the essays on reality tv being United States of should fast essay, America hereby impose the following decree as our birth rite: 1. Like our mother has previously done, the citizens of the United States of America now impose unilateral colonization upon essays on reality tv being real, the above fore-mentioned nations, which are for this day forward to be deemed and to which referred, Colonies of the United States of America. 2. As mum taught us best, none of the Colonies shall have any representation in our globally expansive government, however, fear not as they will be taxed thrice as heavily as any of the members of the Original Fifty States, and this shall be deemed a privilege. 3. All currency in ridiculous color-coded Monopoly board game pastels shall be destroyed and replaced with the correct currency colors of green, black, and white. Failure to forfeit such will be treated as both servile insurrection and submission of testimony on one’s behalf to illiteracy and need for color to sort one’s purse.
4. The President of the both the United States of America and her Colonies shall be determined by the residents of the restaurants be banned essay state of Florida consisting of mostly senior citizens, expatriated Canadians, Cuban refugees, and in essays on reality, the future – the now disbanded British Royalty. This will be deemed a fair representation for all. 5. English will be removed as the official language of the former UK and the former Commonwealth of Nations as well as the like for English and French in fast be banned, Canada. The Colonies will conform to the United States’ policy of no official language as the on reality real English language is to be enriched with the should restaurants be banned words of the world, not purified of them. 6. Police will no longer be called Bobbies in introduction, the UK. The appellation of should food restaurants be banned, toque for a cap or hat will be forbidden in Canada. Words spelled like centre will not be removed, but restricted. Dubois Critical. In this instance centre shall mean a physical place, where center shall mean the middle. 7. The Original Fifty States will concede a small token in should fast, good faith and instate the metric system.
8. The Oxford English Dictionary shall be renamed the Harvard-M.I.T. Dictionary of the Global English Language. 9. Excluding the incontrovertibly inevitable linguistic derelicts of any society, all members of the Colonies shall be required to blanche critical, keep a vocabulary on par in volume with that of the should be banned essay current average American of the day, and not simply Standard Received English as is spoken by many Geordies, Scots, Welsh, Nova Scotians, and Southern States Americans. 10. Obsolescent pronunciations such as roit for right, ad-ver-tiss-mint for advertisement, which by the way will pick-up a ‘z’ to replace the ‘s’ in blanche essay, the former American spelling, shall be banned. 11. Any citizen of America or her Colonies caught speaking the letter ‘z’ as ‘zed’ shall be latched into the town center’s stocks, head and hands, for the townspeople to mock. 12. The citizens of America’s Colonies, with the exception of Canada, shall be required to actually read the should food spelling of ‘aluminum’ as used in and men english literature, the Original Fifty States, to fast restaurants essay, conceptualize how it is not said with ‘-inium’ as the ending pronunciation.
These individuals will be screened as per items number three (3) of essays, this list. 13. The existence of ‘types’ of English shall be abolished. All English, e.g. U.S. English, U.K. English, Canadian English, etc., shall be called English, with the should food restaurants essay exception of Scots English, which will now be called Greek. 14.
The second level of all buses, a.k.a. lorries, coaches, etc., will be removed. 15. Education will commence to eradicate the jousting gene from the citizens in Colonies where the medieval idea of driving on the left still exists, including the U.S. Virgin Islands. 16. American Football will keep its status as ‘Football’ and English Football will become ‘Soccer’ universally throughout the Colonies. This means France will have to expository worksheets, change to food be banned, Le Soccer or Le Soc. 17. There will be no more warm beer, and the citizens of the Colonies will no longer be subjected to watered-down macro beers such as Budweiser and Miller.
Real American beer will be had by all. 18. Everyone in the former British Isles shall be required to romeo and juliet essay, see an orthodontist on a regular basis. 19. Time shall be referred to as the following: WDC + 05:00 in London. 20. The new states of England, Scotland, Wales, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Québec, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland Labrador, Price Edward Island, New Brunswick, Nunavut, Western Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand, Antigua, Barbados, Bahamas, Belize, Salomon Islands, St. Kitts Nevis, St.
Lucia, St. Vincent the Grenadines, South Africa, Trinidad Tobago, and Western Samoa shall each receive a star on the flag to represent their statehood. Restaurants. In addition, the and men english literature Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory will be renamed the should food essay state of Arctic and the state of Yukon, respectively - each receiving a star to represent their statehood as well. Finally, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the U.S. Essays. Virgin Islands, and Guam shall all be granted statehood and issued a star on the flag. The other thirty-four (34) remaining members of the former Commonwealth of Nations shall be disbanded with the option to apply for statehood within ten (10) years. 21. Should Fast Food Be Banned Essay. Hong Kong will be returned to Colony status - we do not bow to China.
22. As of November 21, 2000, 57% of Americans from the Original Fifty States were proficient in more than one (1) language, representing 157,691,225 people speaking two (2) or more languages and over 90,000,000 who speak a language other than English at home. All Colonies will be required to maintain that 50% of their territorial population can speak more than one (1) language, with the exception of Quebec, where, due to the prevalence of French, 80% of the inhabitants shall be required to be bilingual or better. 23. Essays Worksheets. The Colonies will now be permitted to purchase the good American cars and should essay will no longer be restricted to the bottom of the line models, as is prominent in Europe. 24. Outside the essays worksheets Original Fifty States and food essay the former Canada, the and assignment writing anderson numbering system shall be reorganized as such: 000 = thousand; 000,000 = million; 000,000,000 = billion; 000,000,000,000 = trillion; 000,000,000,000,000 = quadrillion, and food restaurants be banned so forth. 25. Measuring your weight in stones will only worksheets, be permitted when inebriated. 26. (Now-defunct link to should food restaurants, humour article about introduction essay, America) - This site is only about 70% accurate but humorous. 27. (Now-defunct author email address) - send me a note.
The preceding was authored by Mark J. Simkiss, Jr. -- an American of fast food restaurants essay, both English and Irish decent. REAL ESTATE SALE - UNITED STATES. In the light of the American people's inability to essays on reality tv being real, elect a new president, the British Government have revoked the Declaration of Independence. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, has placed the restaurants be banned USA on the real estate market. Monies raised shall contribute to to immigration, the upkeep of the British Monarchy. So far, land has been allocated to the following parties by Royal Decree: ENGLAND. Fast Be Banned Essay. Wish to critical essay, reclaim and should fast food restaurants be banned essay retain their original East Coast territories e.g. New England, Massachussetts, Virginia etc etc.
These parts were colonised in of mice literature essay, the time of Queen Elizabeth I so it would be neat if they were reclaimed by Queen Elizabeth II. Any exceptions to this are as noted below and are granted out of Her Majesty's generosity to should fast food be banned essay, fellow European nations. On Reality Tv Being Real. We don't actually want to food restaurants be banned essay, live in these places, you understand and, in worksheets, due course, we will ship out our unemployed or undesirables to these states since Australia won't accept them any more. THE NETHERLANDS. New York was originally called Nieuw Amsterdam and will revert to that name. The term yankee is derived from the should fast Dutch Jan Kees (John Cheese - a generic person) and the willingness of certain parties to call themselves or others Yankees is the manifestation of expository essays, a subconscious desire to return to fast restaurants be banned, being a Dutch territory. With rising water levels due to global warming, the Dutch want a place which will still be above sea level in 10 years' time. NORTHERN IRELAND. To Immigration. Since the US is should food essay so damned interested in Northern Irish affairs and has bigger St Patrick's Day celebrations than the Irish in expository, their native country, it seems sensible to relocate the should fast restaurants be banned Irish to Utah (demonstrating that Her Majesty has a sense of humour). A state will be bought for them as a gift from the British Government. Thesis And Assignment Writing. To avoid any residual inconveniences to food restaurants, Britain, both Northern Irish and Southern Irish shall be relocated.
They'll fit right into the gun-culture and it will save on postage costs for introduction essay, NORAID. Vacated Ireland will then be used for resettlement of Eastern European immigrants into the UK. ISRAEL. The votes of American Jews are so valuable that the US supports poor beleaguered Israel in order to please this portion of the American voting population. Rather than fight over fast food, a little bit of desert stuck in the middle of a bunch of Muslim countries, it seems sensible to simply relocate all Israelis to America. Jerusalem can be recreated in Hollywood where it will be bigger and better than the original without the inconvenience of being a war-zone. Jerusaland will be a theme park in Southern Florida. Since all Israelis do National Service in expository, the Army, they will provide an immediate police/security force - and one without obesity problems.
Israel will therefore have most of Southern Florida, excluding Miami which will go to should fast food restaurants essay, Cuba. CUBA Will get Miami, Florida. They currently have it in all but name. And with only and juliet act iii, one party on the ballot paper, they are unlikely to screw up on elections. REDNECKS The Rednecks will be allocated Northern Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and the Carolinas.
No-one else wants to should food be banned, live there. Incest and trailers will be mandatory in these states. CANADA. Of Mice And Men. They're only next door so Her Majesty is going to award them 'that scruffy bit of land next to should, their back yard' and ask them to get it decently under control. That way, they can let Quebec declare independence or sell itself to France and not be inconvenienced by the loss of a scrap of land. QUEBEC As a goodwill measure, Quebec will get Louisiana which is Cajun country. No-one else wants the place since the staple diet of crayfish is dubois essay considered unfit for human consumption. In winter, they can all close up Quebec and head south to warmer climes.
Quebec/Louisiana will be renamed 'North Arcadia' and 'South Arcadia'. FRANCE Will be co-owner North and South Arcadia. MEXICO. Fast Restaurants Be Banned. The number of legal and illegal immigrants into to immigration, the US makes parts of the US Mexican by default. Spanish is becoming the main language in many parts and Hispanics the main ethnic group. Should Fast Food. Might as well make it official. Thesis And Assignment. No-one's going to notice the should restaurants essay difference. Mexico therefore will get Texas, Nevada and California - they already have these in all but name. The Pacific Ocean will eventually claim coastal California anyway. ITALY New Jersey will go to Italy who already control it anyway via the mob.
Only the paperwork remains to be filed . JAPAN They will get Hawaii … at long last. Sumo wrestling will be the Hawaiian national sport. TEXACO Have put in a bid for Alaska. However, Alaska will be returned to introduction essay, the Russians who sold it to should fast food restaurants be banned essay, the US for a pittance. They can then sell the oil on to Texaco and get the Russian economy going again. GERMANY Germany will get Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Dutch are in fact of German origin. Pennsylvania will be turned into of mice literature essay, a special reserve (a living museum) for should restaurants be banned essay, reclusive religious orders which shun the trappings of modern life such as Shakers, Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch. UNITED NATIONS Will take control of all American Armed Forces. We mean the real armed forces, not the private militias. Private militias are, of course, free to apply to blanche dubois essay, Sierra Leone where there are plenty of employment opportunities, unless of fast restaurants essay, course you are racist in which case South Africa may be more appropriate.
That way the UN-controlled US Forces can come along and beat the sh*t out of you just like they've always wanted to do, but never been allowed to do. ARYAN NATION Aryan Nation will get Idaho. Idaho will become a white supremacist state. All non-whites will be given massive resettlement packages after which a 15 feet high razorwire fence without gates will be erected around Idaho and it will become a no-fly zone. Private militias, gun-crazed radicals and supremacist groups can then use the place to their hearts' content. It will be a closed state so they can only wipe out each other due to having no-one else to wipe out. Once they've successfully wiped out thesis writing each other, Idaho will be put on the market again.
NATIVE POPULATION A bit of South Dakota will be allocated in perpetuity to fast food restaurants be banned, the American Indians. They will also get Manhattan Island back. Oh wait, isn't that a part of Nieuw Amsterdam which is already allocated to the Dutch? They will instead have the to immigration essay rights to should fast food restaurants be banned essay, graze horses and on reality hunt on Manhattan Island. But we'd like our beads back please. ANNHEISER-BUSCH Annheiser-Busch will end up with Missouri whether they want it or not. ILLEGAL ALIENS An alien is an extraterrestrial. A person from food essay another country is essay a 'foreigner' not an 'alien'. Get that fact wrong at your peril since any American who believes s/he is an alien or an alien/human hybrid will be shipped off-planet immediately for interplanetary immigration offences.
After that, it's up to you to find your way back to food restaurants be banned essay, your planet of to immigration essay, origin or get your parent to come pick you up. Any American wishing to opt out of this deal by being abducted by aliens is free to do so. Only don't come crying to Her Majesty about implants, rectal exams or unbreathable atmospheres. MISCELLANEOUS REQUESTS UNDER CONSIDERATION ACT UP would like San Francisco. Norway will have Minnesota, please and anywhere coastal that they can hunt whales. Microsoft will have Washington State. Bill Gates will have the should food be banned big White place, please. To Immigration. Intel will have Oregon. Ford want Michigan.
MENSA LAUNCHES CHAD SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP. EXPATRIOT TIMES, London, England, 10th November 2000. Following the US Election, the American branch of Mensa, the society for should fast essay, those with high IQs, today announced a new Special Interest Group (SIG). Due to popular demand we're launching a SIG for punching holes in pieces of paper, said a spokesperson for American Mensa, It will be called the Chad Opinion Group (COG). We plan to have an online 'Chad-room' where our members (COGnescenti) can exchange views about introduction to immigration, hole-punching and we produce a monthly newsletter devoted to Chadding Techniques. Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay. It's a very emotive issue - the critical essay relative merits of clean-cut chads, pregnant or dimpled chads, hanging chads, chads in paper, cardboard and other materials and any other type of chad you care to mention. All types of Chad-enthusiast will be welcome just so long as they qualify for Mensa membership. Whether you only ever punch holes during elections or whether you're a filing clerk who punches holes every day, just so long as you have a high IQ you can subscribe to this SIG. When accused of 'dumbing down' Mensa, their spokesperson said, We are simply moving with the times. There's a great deal of interest in chads right now and the Florida ballot papers proved that you need a high level of intelligence to should fast restaurants, punch out romeo act iii essay chads properly.
Commenting on the suggestion that Mensa-level intelligence is required for should restaurants, hole-punching, Darrin Antrobus, now living in writing anderson, the UK, said This is so true it hurts. GEORGE W. BUSH FINAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. My fellow Armenians, As I stand here today looking over this magnificent viagra, I think we can agree that the past is over. Our country is ready for a fresh, bipolar approach. I want to food restaurants, bring America together. We are the hill shining on a city, and each of us can get to the top if we set our feet to it. Blanche Essay. Americans have made their decision. They don't need sympathy; they need ablutions. We need to move on beyond the fast restaurants be banned petty armadilloes.
Politics doesn't have to be the way it is today. We can make the pie higher. A high pie lets everyone put food on thesis anderson their family and their family on the table. That's my record: I side with the people. And the fast food restaurants be banned essay B-side of my record is Billy-Joe Gibbs and the Shoeshine Boys singing Streets of Laredo. A president has to think not only of himself and his family and his baseball team's families, but all American families. I don't believe a president should be choosing who are the and juliet act iii right Americans and who are the wrong Americans. Restaurants Essay. All of us together, white or wrong, black or right. Or perversely. That's why my tax cut is as broad as we are. And it will give our expansion a timely dose of of mice english literature essay, wind.
I say there is a cost to inaction. I haven't done the food restaurants acrobatics, but it's probably around a trillion dollars. That's a good round sum to offer to everyone, especially our seniors who are the essays backache of fast essay, our nation. I would like to take a moment to mention my mother, Barbara Bush, who taught me to read and write when I was still knee-high to a lawnmower. Blanche Critical. We need our seniors to be free to fast food restaurants, pass on their life's work to introduction to immigration essay, those they love, and especially to pass on. Thanks, Mom and Dad. We know America is the best in the world. We are the great super-premium; we cannot afford to be unleaded.
This is still a world of madmen and fast food restaurants mental losses. And mental loss is easy to underestimate. Expository Essays. We need a sharpened sword to should be banned essay, light our way. To quote Ronald Reagan: I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do something. And it must never run our lives. The purpose of prosperity is to make sure the American dream touches every killing heart. Progress can be slow; you measure it in inches and feet, not miles or kilograms.
Or cantilevers. I worked in Texas by common sense and plain dozing. I got on with small business because I was one myself. Romeo And Juliet. I'm less now. But I'm also more. We are all less and more. More or less. And I believe we must match our compassionate hearts with out preservative minds.
I know you would rather be watching TV, and should food be banned essay so would I, so I will draw to a confusion. My message is: I will get things done. I will inspire and untie. I will appeal to people's better angles. Blanche Critical. I will prove that politics can be bigger than you ever thought possible. We will trust the people we serve, and should fast food restaurants be banned serve the people we trust. Together we can do what needs to english, be done to preserve this great bastard of freedom. Thank you and God help America.
(via email; believed to originate from December issue of The Economist) (2004) USENET VERSION 1. Direct Communications Unit. 7th Floor, 50 Queen Anne's Gate. London, SW1H 9AT. RE: Revocation of your Independence. In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of should fast food be banned essay, you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and dubois critical the Senate will be disbanded. Should Restaurants. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to and men essay, determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in restaurants be banned essay, the transition to essays, a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
Rt Hon David Blunkett. (2004) USENET VERSION 2. Official messages from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II of England to all Americans: In view of your failure to elect a proper and semi-intelligent president of the should restaurants essay United States in two straight elections and showing you are now incapable of governing yourselves, The queen hereby gives formal notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Thesis Anderson. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will assume duties as your monarch and should food restaurants essay supreme ruler over all states and territories except for Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama and Florida which her Majesty considers either too vile or senile to bother with reforming. Her Majesty will appoint a royal governor that shall be responsible for all other states. Since you can not vote intelligently or decide matters of state, both houses of Congress, the expository supreme court and obviously the office of president are disbanded effectively immediately.
The country formally known as the United States, now a laughingstock in should restaurants be banned essay, the eyes of the world is now reabsorbed into expository essays worksheets, the British empire from which it came. To aid in the transition to should be banned, a British Crown Dependency, the following rules will take effect next Monday. 1. All American flags will be burned and replaced immediately with the union jack, official flag of the United Kingdom. 2. The armed forces will report to Prince William. Expository. Prince Charles will become Secretary of Defence, other posts to be filled by members of the royal family to be announced shortly. 3. All will be required to learn ballroom dancing, eat mutton every Tuesday, fish and should fast food essay chips on Fridays and come to appreciate warm beer. 4. All Americans will become citizens of the British crown and blanche dubois essay will bow in should essay, my presence. 5. All American holidays except for and men english essay, New Years and Christmas are revoked to be replaced by holidays celebrated in should food restaurants be banned, the UK. 5. All wages, incomes, properties will be taxed at 30% of value with all proceeds forwarded to the UK yearly. 6. Starbucks will replace coffee with twenty flavours of British tea.
The Queen expresses regret for taking such drastic measures, but since half of Americans never bother to vote and the other half twice in a row decided to vote for a blithering idiot that by introduction, the way the last time he visited wrecked my rose garden with his helicopter and goons running all over the queen's official gardens and never even saying he was sorry, the Queen has no choice but to food restaurants be banned essay, revoke your sovereignty since it is thesis and assignment anderson clear too many Americans have taken leave of their senses. (2004) USENET MINOR VARIANTS. There were some variant openings for the two main versions (above): In light of should fast restaurants be banned essay, your failure to make the correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004. [etc] In the anderson light of your failure to elect a sane President of the United States and should fast restaurants essay thus to romeo and juliet essay question, govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately . [etc]
To the food restaurants be banned citizens of the United States of America, in view of Prime Minister Tony Blair becoming President of on reality real, all he surveys, we hereby give notice of the should fast food restaurants essay revocation of your independence, effective today. (2004) RESPONSE FROM THE USA. The main response circulated was largely the same as in 2000: DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. (2004) (ANOTHER) US RESPONSE TO THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. While we Americans might have taken this little joke of yours badly, we have recognized it for what it is: a cry for help. Literature. We realize that you are tired of being a third-rate little country on food restaurants be banned essay your own. Therefore we shall bring you into the fold as our 51st state. There will be some changes:
1. English. An unprecedented road-building initiative shall commence immediately. Check out the interstate system in the US. You'll see why this is needed. We will probably bring in Germans to do this. Should Fast Restaurants. Looking at you present system of transport there seems to be nothing to recommend English engineers. 2. Everyone will be issued with an automobile.
Once you realize that commute of over 30 minutes in a country this size is unacceptable, you'll thank us. 3. Squads of bitter, overweight, ex-high school, and college athletes will be shipped over to instruct you on winning. In short, winning is everything. Coming in third place consistently and congratulating yourselves on being good sports is stupid. Wake up. Expository Essays Worksheets. (We also believe this pedantic infatuation with language may be due to should food, your loser status. Giving you something to feel good about.)
4. You will no longer be allowed to mention the Second World War. Of Mice Essay. It was the last thing you won, but it was over fifty years ago. 5. Fast Food. You will now be allowed to express your feelings when you want. If someone cuts in front of you in blanche dubois critical, line - queue is a silly word and fast food restaurants is henceforth outlawed - you are now allowed to kick his ass or shoot him. Introduction To Immigration Essay. That's part of essay, being an thesis writing, American: choices and handguns. You're really going to like this. 6. The English tradition of getting in line will probably go out of style once the stores are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and actually have what you're looking for at a price you can afford. This is a lot to take in. Breathe slowly and should fast essay take it a little at a time. 7. Essays On Reality Tv Being. Soccer is out the window. Let's face it, sitting around for two hours watching a bunch of guys not score points is infuriating.
That's why you kill each other over it. 8. Food Restaurants Essay. The Spice Girls will be executed. No discussion. Things that will not change: 1. The monarchy will remain much as it is today. We think it's cute. Introduction To Immigration. However we will tax them. Should Restaurants Be Banned. Anybody that rich can afford it. 2. You can keep ignoring the to immigration metric system, but maybe do it a little more proactively like the rest of the States.
Let's face it. Do you really want your kids using something the French came up with? 3. The English accent will remain intact. We like the sound of it, even if you do use a lot of silly words. Congratulations on your ascension to fast food be banned, these heady heights. (2004) THE BRITISH REJECTION OF THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Upon reflection, Her Majesty's Government has decided that the and juliet British no longer want America. For a start, we do not wish to should fast, lower our average IQ. To allow distinction between Britain and America the on reality following should be implemented forthwith: 1. Fast Food Restaurants. The English language is English as the name English suggests; new dialects made from the and men essay non-English are to food restaurants be banned, be banned. Thesis And Assignment Anderson. The English decide how the English language is to be spoken.
As no Americans know how to speak English, we think it best for you to should food restaurants, make up your own language - you’ve nearly done so already. On Reality Real. It’ll be easier than learning correct English. Be Banned. We advise that the creation of the new language American should be left to the few of you with IQs larger than 60. English will now be studied as a foreign language at all stages of the thesis anderson American education system; you may just learn it that way. Your country does not have a higher number of English speakers, what you are speaking is not actually English. There is no such nationality as Scotch; it is Scottish. Don’t complain about restaurants be banned, how we depict you when you don’t even know what we’re called. 2. Hollywood is to acknowledge what really happened in all war films. You did not have the on reality tv being U-571 mission. That was the should restaurants be banned British.
We Were Soldiers is to have a new ending. Act Iii. Don't even get us started on The Patriot. You did not win Vietnam; the films should show this. Hollywood is to restaurants be banned essay, create 10 films of what America did wrong in wartime, we all make mistakes, no wonder you are all big-headed. 3. Sports are from now on allowed no padding. We can cope without it, you will be surprised to to immigration, find that no other country uses it and it is not necessary. We created the first football, so we decide what is football.
Your sport football is now called American Women’s Rugby. Basketball will be called Men’s Netball. When you have realised that less padding is should fast essay better, bouncing the ball will not be allowed. In Hockey only the goalkeeper will wear pads, and critical you are only allowed to hit with one side of the stick. Should Fast Be Banned Essay. Cricket will be taught from an early age; while adults can’t understand it, the children might still develop an IQ. 4. The Star Spangled Banner is to be used as the theme tune for Sesame Street.
The existing one is a little too intelligent for American children. As for the adults, the Sesame Street theme tune is on the same level as your intellectual abilities and is now your National Anthem. If you come back with some smart-arse comment about Sesame Street’s theme tune, it will just prove that you watch it. Think carefully. 5. Teletubbies was intended for children's television. If you can’t cope with it try to make some other childish programmes yourself. 6. Romeo And Juliet Act Iii Essay. Adverts can only be shown twice every 30 minutes on television.
TV is for programmes not advertising. Shopping channels will be merged with ordinary stations; this will reduce your advertising, your credit card debts, and the cost of your cable bill. 7. Again, we made beer, so we decide what it is. American Budweiser is not beer; beer tastes good. 8. In the should next US election you will vote for someone who has the mental age of at least 12. It’s not much, but improvements should be gradual. If you elect someone with a mental age of more than 18, each of those that voted for this person will be presented with a certificate of sanity and mediocre intelligence.
9. If you always sue people, your best musicians may leave, as they will become bankrupt. Michael Jackson and Eminem are evidence that all your successful people just get sued all the time. With this it is romeo act iii essay no surprise that no-one has an food restaurants be banned essay, IQ of above 60, as the ones that do have to give their money to those that don’t. 10. You are not Irish. The real Irish get pissed off when you claim that you are once a year. If you insist on this habit, you may become part of Ireland, but that will mean that you have to of mice and men english essay, learn English, rather than create American (see clause 1). 11. We don’t have handguns; our guns are used for hunting animals not people. You should adapt to do likewise.
This will reduce your death toll, and maybe some of the intelligent Americans may survive. 12. Be Banned. Thank you for essay, your co-operation. We believe if you do the above, your average IQ may rise by should food restaurants be banned, 50%. You may now continue watching Teletubbies. PS You’re welcome for Iraq, though the Black Watch isn't too happy at the moment. It's a Scottish regiment, not a Scotch regiment (see clause 1) PPS Music is the one thing you’ve got right, stop suing the good artists. On second thoughts …. Keep on killing each other with handguns and keep eating burgers and pizzas washed down with cola.
That way, the tv being real combined mortality due to shootings, obesity and diabetes will render the American dilemma obsolete long before the next US Election is restaurants be banned due. (2004) ELECTION NOTICE. To the romeo and juliet act iii essay question citizens of the should restaurants be banned essay former United States of America, In the event of inability to nominate a sentient candidate for President of the USA, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your nationhood before you can once again make fools of essay, yourself when it comes to actually voting. To save you the effort of deciding whether your chads are hanging or merely pregnant, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II intends to resume monarchial duties over all states, effective immediately. To help the Royal coffers, she intends to realise the land value by should fast food restaurants be banned essay, disposing of the territory in thesis anderson, parcels as follows:- Texas will formally become part of Mexico; this formalises the current arrangement as the should fast restaurants essay state is already a defacto part of Mexico. We hope the formalisation of its status will improve the thesis writing cuisine.
To give the Mexicans more lebensraum Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma and Missouri will also become part of Mexico. Alaska will be given back to Russia. Inhabitants of the aforementioned states are advised to enrol on language courses, although considering how badly they speak English, their new landlords might resent having their languages mangled in a similar fashion. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Minnesota and Iowa will all be given to Canada and become part of the British Commonwealth. Food. The majority of blanche critical, Canada's population is fast restaurants essay crammed up against their warmer southern border, so we believe it only fair they get a bit of breathing room.
Inhabitants of those regions will need to get used to things such as Mounties, good manners and speaking French. Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama, which her Majesty considers somewhat backward, will be renamed Arcadia and given to the Quebecois as an independent country. We have been to Quebec and blanche dubois critical essay noticed that it gets a bit chilly and should fast restaurants be banned essay they are always petitioning for independence, so we've decided to give it to them. All lawyers and political correctness campaigners will be transported to Nevada. So much of America is thesis and assignment writing anderson run by lawyers, for the benefit of lawyers, that they are considered a degenerate separate race and will be given their own country. There will be strict border controls and they will not be permitted passports. By the time the lawyers have finished suing each other over what to fast essay, call the new country, they will have died out. Political correctness campaigners will be too busy with circumlocutions to ever get around to breeding. Elsewhere, lawyers will largely be replaced by something currently missing from American society - common sense. The reason the USA has become so litigious is dubois critical a ploy by its real ruling class - lawyers - to remain rich and in fast food restaurants essay, control. Florida will be given to Israel, since its inhabitants are already so obsessed with what goes on in that country.
When technology permits, it will be air-freighted to the Middle East. Your hazy grasp of world geography means you probably won't notice anything except the lack of regular tropical storms. Introduction To Immigration. California will be given its independence as a gay state. Feel free to fast food be banned, paint it pink, rename it or whatever you like, but don't get too attached to essays worksheets, any seafront properties as another couple of quakes will see most of it fall into the sea. Her Majesty rather fancies Hawaii as a royal retreat and a playboy paradise for fast restaurants be banned essay, Princes William and Harry. It will make a change from all those skiing holidays at Klosters. After all, the romeo and juliet act iii essay question Queen and Duke are not getting any younger and should food be banned would prefer to over-winter in warmer climes. The remaining states, i.e. those not mentioned individually, will be turned over to thesis writing, native American rule. In the interest of should food restaurants be banned essay, fairness, descendants of early colonists will get their beads back. Anyone descended from act iii essay question immigrant stock, which is most of you, will be moved into a reservation.
We suggest Manhattan Island, though it might get a bit crowded. Thank you for should fast, your co-operation and worksheets have a nice day. It was inevitable that the Revocation would do the rounds again in 2004. In addition to the land-sale, there were 2 main versions in food, circulation and a number of minor variations of each of these. Anderson. The main variants are pick-and-mix versions of the previous election's efforts. However, being an old joke it did not take the world be storm as it did in 2000. (2012) AFTER RE-ELECTION OF BARACK OBAMA. A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN. To the citizens of the United States of America from restaurants be banned Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
In light of your failure in recent years to of mice and men literature, nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to fast food, determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and introduction to immigration essay 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the should fast restaurants essay letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and anderson 'you know' is an unacceptable and fast food restaurants be banned inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. And Assignment Anderson. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. Should Fast Be Banned. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the thesis writing anderson benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and should metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of introduction essay, roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. 9. Food Essay. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is english not actually beer at be banned essay, all. Henceforth, only of mice and men literature essay, proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of restaurants, known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the romeo and juliet act iii essay greatest sporting nation on essay earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to introduction, play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an fast essay, experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There is essays only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for be banned essay, a game which is not played outside of America. Dubois Essay. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Food Be Banned Essay. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. 13.. You must tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us mad. 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of blanche essay, all monies due (backdated to 1776). 15. Be Banned Essay. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at of mice essay, 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and fast food be banned cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)! Brief History of this Political Parody. The 4 item Revocation of and assignment writing, Independence was posted 8 th November by Alan Baxter (Rochester, UK) on an internal newsgroup of restaurants, a defence company operating in the UK, US and Australia. It grew to a 10 item, then a 13 item, list. Newsgroup subscriber Peter Rieden (Farnborough, UK) mailed his Revocation of expository worksheets, Independence to should, usenet on 15 th November and other subscribers to the internal newsgroup passed it on by email and newsgroup. Essays. Rieden doesn't claim authorship of the should fast restaurants essay various versions currently in circulation, but is a co-author of the most widespread version (later recycled in 2004). He claimed to tv being, have received a 10 item version by email from a colleague at Warton, UK and rehashed it into a 13 point version which he posted to usenet. Rieden noted that he got the should food restaurants be banned rest of his ideas from an item on the BBC Radio 4 Today program (06:30 to 09:00 morning news program). It is possible that the version forwarded by Baxter and that received and extended by real, Rieden was an item emailed to a few friends by Dan Fox on the 8th November.
In May 2001 some 6 months after the Revocation of Independence did the rounds, Dan Fox, a public relations consultant from London and self-confessed political junkie, claimed to be the ultimate originator of the Revocation of Independence. He claimed to have written his Revocation email (a list of items) in the early hours of November the 8 th and emailed it to 13 people in the US. This would account for food be banned, the different (and terser) list published in the USA. Within days Fox and his 13 email contacts received amended versions from to immigration friends throughout Europe and North America, though he claims they were clearly based on should restaurants be banned his original. However, the critical Revocation had taken on a life of should fast food be banned, its own and was evolving into a quite different list. In April 2005, Kevin O'Connor also claimed to be the worksheets original author of the should fast food be banned 10 point version while at university. He claims to have mailed it to tv being, a few friends and food restaurants essay had no idea how it got onto the internet. O'Connor's claimed 10 point version is equivalent to the Rieden 13 point version, minus the expository worksheets three items relating to restaurants be banned essay, sea salt, bitter (beer) and gasoline prices. O'Connor claims it was an original take on the Bush/Gore election, with a variety of old running jokes from romeo essay question his Senior School days when he hung around with a witty (and jokingly anti-French) crowd who had an should food essay, American for an English Teacher. It is apparent that the various terms of the Revocation occurred to various contributors, prompted by the US election and by a long-standing British cultural joke.
Fox's (or O'Connor's) emailed version may have brought a simmering British joke to boiling point. Once let loose by email, its progress and evolution become impossible to blanche, trace - items were added, edited or lost. Various forms were soon widespread throughout usenet, on fast websites and in inboxes. There were several identifiable major and minor variants. The day after Rieden's usenet posting (although by then it had already leaked onto usenet via other routes), the Revocation was emailed out as a joke-of-the-day. Upon a few more refining comments (added by other individuals) it became the article which was emailed around the world. The first 4 points of the terse American 15 point version are identical to those in the Baxter version and may owe more to Fox's original than to the Baxter/Rieden version, but its spread was hindered by thesis and assignment, cultural references that mean little to non-Americans e.g. Food Be Banned. outside of the romeo and juliet USA, relatively few know what the Washington Monument or Lincoln Memorial are.
Those items were soon lost from the list. On Thursday 16 th it appeared on the BBC News Website. On Sunday 19 th November, it was mentioned on fast food restaurants the 09:00 UK ITV News. On 20 th November I received (by company internal email) the first of many responses - a Notice of Annexation of the UK by worksheets, the US. On Tuesday 21 st , the email version of Revocation was read out in full on should food restaurants be banned BBC Radio Merseyside and appeared on the front page of the prestigious UK newspaper, The Times in the article Who Wants to Be A President? which read: The latest bumper sticker reads 'Screw this I'm moving to and men, Canada' and an internet proclamation suggests that as Americas 224 year experiment with independence seems to be in chaos, it may be time for should food restaurants be banned, Her Majesty to take over thesis and assignment writing anderson, again On 20 th November Rieden admitted that his role in fast food restaurants be banned essay, the writing (or rewriting) of the Revocation had proven to be something of an embarrassment to him.
He had received hundreds of emails from introduction essay amused usenet subscribers. There had not been a single negative response. By this time, recipients were adding their own personal thoughts to the Notice of Revocation leading to multiple versions in restaurants be banned, circulation. The Revocation had become email-lore and references (citations) and excerpts were appearing in on-line and hard-copy publications. Most versions stabilised at 10 or 12 items, though the thesis writing content varied. The 15 item version at the top of this page is a compilation of 5 or 6 different versions. The following response was posted to sci.military.naval on 21 st Nov as being from the fast food restaurants be banned Supreme Court of Florida, but was less well-received by Brits on the newsgroup and did not make it into email-lore: To the imperialist British colonizers - That 'z' will have to go to start with. In the thesis writing light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency - There's no indecision - the answer was NO. You already almost speak our language - It think you have that backwards.
Princess Diana will be declared a saint. Should Fast Be Banned Essay. - Too late. Look up aluminum [. . .] we discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. Expository Essays Worksheets. - Nope Aluminium was discovered in 1808 by Sir Humphrey Davy . (NB: Remember that American film-makers rewrote wartime history so that the US were the fast restaurants essay codebreakers, not the UK with the Enigma machine.) Resistance is futile. Just ask Hawaii [. . .] Norman fops. - Perhaps you should visit Wales, briefly. And in order to avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states [. Essays Tv Being Real. . .] Hong Kong immediately. - Once you're done in Wales, you may convalesce in the Falklands. Food Be Banned Essay. Enjoy your vacation. Wouldn't South Georgia be more appropriate. If you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. - Take that up with the Scots - they will demand statehood in their own right or there will be claymores brandished in the Capitol. Scotch characters will wear plaid - Scotch is english literature essay a drink - that sort of mistake will be painful if you make it in should fast restaurants be banned essay, Sauciehall Street.
The British film industry . Romeo And Juliet Act Iii Essay Question. . What British Film Industry? You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner. Should Restaurants. - Do you have Gujarati, Hindi and Farsi versions? It shall be sung every morning at on reality tv being real, kindergarten, high school, university and your places of work. Should Fast Food. You might want to research the history of what happened when Nissan required workers to sing the company song. The British working man can be very inventive when it comes to finding Obscene words for such anthems (Note: Brits have already written obscene words to the US anthem)
If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football. - Well just because its too dangerous for Americans the rest of us don’t have to expository, wimp out. You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. - Perhaps you might care to should essay, wonder why every Peasant in the India subcontinent can figure out something you can't. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. - Right unlike that well known short simple game called Baseball. We will help you to blow up your Houses of Parliament - I've a better idea, lets burn down the White House AGAIN. Roundabouts will be banned. - Better rip up the rotaries in Mass first (Note: the of mice english literature essay first roundabout in Florida split the population into 2 parts - those who have had a wreck and those who haven't encountered the roundabout yet) You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to should fast food restaurants, avoid causing unnecessary confusion to expository worksheets, mainland Americans. - We know the difference - you have a lot to learn. On 23rd November, when everyone thought that the joke was finished, an Australian response appeared on sci.military.naval, posted by David Shaw (it followed an England vs Australia rugby match). It was understandably, popular in Australia but its circulation was limited as the sentiments and language were quite forthright and some of the topics are not well understood outside of Australia. None of the responses are as widespread as the Fox/O'Connor/Baxter/Rieden version; in fact they are seen a deliberate attempts to cash in on the popularity of the Revocation proving that deliberate attempts to create urban legends and cult emails are rarely successful. Various other notices followed in the same vein, but were not widespread.
Soon after that, the Revocation seemed to should restaurants, die - although it would later turn out to be only sleeping. In 2004, it started all over expository, again, but was largely confined to usenet, bulletin boards and blogs (blogs were uncommon in 2000). It was first spotted on should fast food essay 4 th November on usenet, but either enthusiasm had waned or the political climate no longer supported the joke because it wasn't as widespread or popular as in 2000. There were 2 main versions, one of which is the same as the 15 point collation at of mice english essay, the top of this webpage. The most widespread American response was also the same as in 2000, though a second, original, response also appeared as did a British rejection notice i.e. on second thoughts we don't want you back! During 2004, it was also wrongly attributed to English comedian John Cleese and was circulated crediting him as the fast food author. Cleese did not write it, the english literature version was a rehash of the earlier Fox/O'Connor/Rieden/Baxter version already in wide circulation since November 2000.
Note: Internet/usenet/email humour has now been dubbed e-lore, e-folklore and e-tradition folklore and is treated as a folklore tradition in its own right. Food Be Banned. The other traditions (modes of transmission) are oral tradition and written tradition. E-tradition folklore is notable for its rapid proliferation, including across national boundaries, and its rapid mutation.
Help Cant Do My Essay - B>Fast Food Articles for a Juicy Argumentative… - Stanford
Dec 18, 2017 Should fast food restaurants be banned essay,
Treating a College Admissions Essay Like a First Date. This week, The Choice is in should food the room, panning for tips, at the annual College Board Conference. High school counselors and admissions officers are always reaching for analogies to to immigration, convey to students (and parents) the purpose of a college admissions essay. But it was a revelation to me, at least, when Chad Hemmelgarn, an English teacher at Bexley High School in Columbus, Ohio, put it this way: “It’s kind of like a first date. You’re telling us the stuff that makes you special.” Mr.
Hemmelgarn was speaking this afternoon as part of a panel on the junior-year experience at “Forum 2009 New York,” the annual convention of the College Board in New York City. Over the next two and a half days, hundreds of counselors and admissions officers will attend dozens of fast food be banned sessions on all aspects of the high school and on reality tv being real college-admissions experience. In a series of posts on The Choice, several Times colleagues and I will attempt to pass on tips and perspectives from those meetings that we think will be useful to applicants and parents, as well as counselors and admissions officers. For example, at the panel on the junior year, Mr. Hemmelgarn and Stephanie Krosnosky, a college counselor at Bexley, suggested that juniors begin their college quest with several seemingly simple steps. These included using a single sheet of paper to collect the dates of all the standardized tests they intended to should fast essay, take, which they would then post on the family refrigerator so that “mom and dad” would make sure they didn’t oversleep that day. But it was on the subject of the college essay that I thought the two gave particularly strong guidance. For example, Mr. Hemmelgarn requires his juniors to write 25 sample college essays — using actual questions from the and men english essay University of Chicago and Ohio State, among others — in 25 weeks, at home. His mantra? “Practice makes better.” Mr.
Hemmelgarn then reviews with each student the four or five essays that he or she believes might best be developed into their actual college essays in their senior year. For readers of The Choice who are juniors (or their parents), I see no reason why the restaurants be banned essay same exercise couldn’t be repeated by any junior on introduction one’s own — with a counselor or favorite teacher then enlisted as a sounding board. Mr. Hemmelgarn said he divides the essay questions into should fast food be banned essay several categories, including “Why you?” and essays on reality tv being real “Why us?” As an example of “Why you?” — or why might a particular college want you — he referred to an actual prompt on the Common Application that directs an applicant to should food restaurants, “evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.” Part of the advice he gives his students, he said, is and assignment, that they not write a hackneyed paragraph about a family trip “that changed my life.” Unless, of course, it did. One counselor in the audience immediately raised her hand to say that one of fast food restaurants be banned essay her high school students was in the process of writing just such an essay — about learning Flamenco in Spain — that promised to be unique and memorable.
The boy’s theme (and yes, it was a boy)? “When am I ever going to do that again?” Mr. Hemmelgarn said he approved — because the essay sounded like it would meet another of his criteria: “What can you write that’s going to dubois critical essay, set you apart from should everyone else?” As an example of the question of “Why us?” Mr. Hemmelgarn pointed to the following question from an romeo act iii actual application: “Why are you considering The Ohio State University?” In counseling his students on how to approach their answer, Mr. Hemmelgarn said he tells them that colleges “want to hear a little about themselves.” And that, he said, usually requires some research. One other tip from Mr. Hemmelgarn: When an fast food be banned essay applicant is asked a question like, “Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you,” as appears on the Common Application, what the on reality tv being college is really seeking is something about you (as in how you are similar to the person, or different.)
“The college is not accepting grandpa,” Mr. Hemmelgarn said. “They want to know what qualities of grandpa do you have.” Do readers of The Choice have similar advice to pass along? Please use the comment box below to let us know. Comments are no longer being accepted.
My advice to all is to be yourself. Food Restaurants Be Banned? Let your writing reflect who you are and how you approach problems in your life. To Immigration? Write that, and the college that recognizes individuality (something I highly prize) will come calling with financial aid. Food Be Banned Essay? I don’t care what the introduction to immigration colleges are looking for, YOU know what YOU are looking for, and you know what type of person you are. Should Fast Be Banned? If the essay college wants you for you, they’ll admit you. My younger brother is a high school junior, and fast he has Asperger’s. While my parents are focusing on helping him find schools that will accommodate his condition, I want to encourage him to make his applications to those schools as good as they can be. I anticipate that he will find the college essay especially difficult, since he’s never been good at “selling himself” in the way that colleges ask you to.
Does anyone know of resources to help students on the autistic spectrum navigate the worksheets college admissions process? 25 admissions essays over the course of 25 weeks is should fast restaurants essay, ridiculous overkill. As those of you who read my recent article (http://www.satsuccesssecrets.com/5-lies-about-sat-prep/) know, I’m not a big fan of the introduction essay College Board. However, this is some really good information about fast be banned essay, how to to immigration essay, make the most of should restaurants your college admissions essay. By the time you write your essay, there are only 3 parts of your college application that you have control over: your senior mid term exams, your last chance at the SAT, and your college essay. Everything else is already in the books. I’ve been working with kid applying to college for a long time, and I strongly recommend taking this advice to expository, heart and fast restaurants be banned essay really putting your mind to answering the questions, “Why you?” and “Why us?”. It can really make a difference. Yeah, I agree. That is completely ridiculous.
Nice idea–but if your kid was like my kid, he was already doing homework on most Saturday nights. So were the other highly competitive kids in and men english literature essay his class. (Believe me, this was not my idea–he was just incredibly driven. And he did get into the top college he wanted, so I guess it was worthwhile–at least he thinks so!). Should Be Banned Essay? Yes, it’s good to write a good college essay, but not if it comes at the expense of the grades that are going to blanche dubois critical essay, get you into that great college you want to should be banned essay, go to! My daughter has written eight different essays so far for scholarships and romeo and juliet act iii applications, and restaurants be banned essay she is only half-way through the process. I wish she had generated more ideas when she was a junior. A possible resource is blanche, Realizing the College Dream with Asperger Syndrome by Anne Palmer and/or Succeeding in essay Colleg with Asperger Syndrome by english literature, John Harpur, Maria Lawlor and should food be banned essay Michael Fitzgerald. My wife and I had suggested a topic to blanche, our daughter but her essay came out forced. A few days later, she surprised us us with an should be banned essay essay on another topic that was literate and flowed naturally. This took place over the summer when the pressure was much less. She is seeking admission to schools where she has a good chance of being accepted, anyway, based on her high school record and interests.
The world does not start with Yale and on reality end with Harvard. Her essay is clearly in restaurants be banned essay the ballpark and it is done. Romeo And Juliet Act Iii Essay Question? Let’s not hype these kids into more stress than they already have. Aim for appropriate and well-written and avoid the hackneyed. (Bravo to Nicola for Comment No. 1.) As aparent who just completed the college application with my daughter, I have two peices of advice. One, have students start drafting their essays during the should fast be banned essay summer before senior year. It is thesis writing anderson, a time where they have little pressure. Second and most important, have someone other than a parent review the essay. No matter how hard we try, parents are jaded when it comes to food, their kids.
Have someone who does not know your child review the essays. The feedback can be valuable. I agree with Sam (#3). And I’m also a writer and romeo and juliet essay question writing teacher (as well as a college counselor). Sure, students should be honing their essay writing (and reading) skills, but it seems myopic to repeat this exercise that many times, especially since students would also be well served by working on critical writing and reading, as well as the personal essay. For those applying to should food be banned, Harvard or Yale: the essay is the first date, the interview is the second date and the third date is writing, when your parents make a huge donation to the school. I’m so glad I went to college 40 years ago. I’m also glad I went to college a while ago (only 10 years ago), but I never felt the pressure these kids feel. I love your tips here.
Such good advice. Fast Restaurants Essay? One of our student bloggers over at myUsearch wrote a great article about the romeo and juliet question college essay she wrote to get into Yale. Fast Restaurants? Hope this helps: http://myusearchblog.com/the-college-essay-you-in-500-words-or-less. Also, beware the essays on reality tv being over-edited-overworked-by-five-critics essay result where the fresh original voice of the fast be banned essay 17-18 year old applicant has been lost. As a parent, I make it a point to go back to the very first draft quite often, and expository essays ask (out loud) “what was catchy about this essay idea to being with?” and “is it still there in this current draft?”.
This also means that one should not actually write anything for the applicant (you know who you are, parents!) — not only is it unethical, it also puts the idea in should be banned essay your voice, not theirs. Discussing ideas around the critical essay dining table (on cell phone, more realistically?), is fair and good I think, much as they would do with a teacher in school. I remember writing my college essays. Food Be Banned? My high school class started with 269 members. We graduated 180. Only about of mice and men english literature, half went to college. Food Be Banned Essay? I remember seeking advice from and juliet act iii essay a guidance counselor about should fast, liberal arts colleges, and he told me not to get my hopes up because I likely wouldn’t get a good enough scholarship to attend. I ended up getting nearly full rides to everywhere I applied, and a full ride to school that I did attend. I never showed my guidance counselor my essays, because if he was so stupid as to suggest that I would not get scholarships as an Appalachian student from tv being real a poor school district with an fast restaurants be banned ACT composite of 32 who had qualified for one of the act iii essay national forensic competitions 3 out of 4 years, then he was probably too stupid to offer valid critique. I suppose that what I’m saying is that I’m jealous of should food restaurants be banned high school students who come from a world where their parents and teachers are supportive of their college application efforts.
Instead, coming from a poor rural school district, I got teachers who accused me of plagiarism when I showed them my writing and introduction essay guidance counselors who told me I’d never get into Bryn Mawr. Should Fast Be Banned? I’m wondering which is more common for American high school students. Sam, 25 admissions essays over the course of act iii 25 weeks is so not ridiculous overkill. It’s a lot like a real job, innit? An intro to the world of food essay work, you might say. My daughter began her college essay, “All my life there have been bugs.” She had fun with it. She is now a junior at and assignment, Swarthmore College. Wow – my essay was nothing like that. I think it was about food restaurants, a favorite book I read, and why I liked it. Introduction? Geez, like a first date? I’m not marrying my college.
And really, I can write an essay (or a cover letter) gushing about U of Fill-in-the-blank, or XYZ, Inc. but I’m just gonna copy and paste five other names into that space, and everyone knows it. This whole process is fast food restaurants essay, becoming too overwhelming and too emotionally charged. I took the SAT once, sent my scores and transcript, got two teachers to write recommendations, wrote my essay (ONE essay was written ONCE), and sent my app in. End of story. The best advice my daughter received was to have confidence in her essay and not worry about WHAT SHE SHOULD do! A first date?? Are you kidding? Robert Frost once said that people who don’t understand comparisons aren’t safe to cross the street. Introduction? I’d say that people who pick up a silly comparison and should fast consider it seriously are in and juliet even more danger.
How absolutely ridiculous to have junior write that many college essays. When it’s time for should food restaurants essay kids to blanche dubois critical, write the college essay, it’s time for kids to should fast food restaurants, consider the english literature essay topics. The summer before senior year is the time to start thinking–at the very earliest. On another note, you might want to investigate the merit of fast restaurants this practice at dubois critical, Bexley by asking the students who were subjected to that regimen of college essay writing. You might be surprised at their answers. 25 essays over fast restaurants essay, 25 weeks is “like a real job”?
Try a second job. If you’re talking about a job, how about the job of being a high school student? — that’s what I wish students were focused on, instead of the fetishized industry of college admissions. In a way, I like that idea, but I’m not convinced that 5 essays over 5 weeks won’t accomplish a good chunk of the same idea. 25 over 25 weeks extends from the and assignment writing spring of junior year, when kids should really be focused on should food restaurants essay their schoolwork, into the beginning of senior year, when kids should be focused on the most college-like tasks they’ll have to take on during high school (assuming, that is, that their school is and men essay, giving them enough of a challenge). I’m also a teacher of writing, but mainly I’m a teacher of teenagers. I’m sickened when I hear such overwhelming tasks and pressures put on students who are busy with being students and kids. As suggested by #1, 5, 17, 18, and 19, you will end up in a college that is suitable for food you, and you will be fine. As a high school drop-out, I had no school counselors advising me about my college essays; I was oblivious re: need to tell a story that set me apart from essay my peers. etc. etc. Should Fast Food Restaurants? etc.I applied to only one university, a US News #038; World Report top 20. I got in, and graduated in May ’09.
My first semester, I audaciously asked an admissions officer, why me, and essays not someone more worthy, she stated that my essays were forthright and free of the fast food be banned essay usual highly edited and thesis and assignment writing coached quote unquote drivel. My advice re: writing good admissions essays: do not under any circumstances show your parents, or any present or former teachers your essays until after you get accepted, be humble, don’t show off. (Sorry: didn’t make my disagreement clear enough [#21]. The teacher who did 25 in 25 weeks did it during the school year, for fast restaurants be banned his English course. My concern was with people trying to replicate that without it being a teacher assignment — in other words, on essays top of the should be banned essay existing schoolwork. I quibble with the effort required even within a class, and wonder what else those students were working on during those 25 weeks, but I respect the teacher’s inclination to have his class write extensively and reflectively.)
Why Buy Local - Fast Food Argumentative Essay | Academic | Teen… - Marymount University
Dec 18, 2017 Should fast food restaurants be banned essay,
SAT / ACT Prep Online Guides and should food restaurants be banned essay Tips. One of the essays, best ways to should food restaurants be banned essay, prepare for the DBQ (the “document-based question” on tv being real, the AP European History, AP US History, and AP World History exams) is to should be banned, look over sample questions and example essays. This will help you to get a sense of what makes a good (and what makes a bad) DBQ response. That said, not all DBQ essay examples are created equal. I’ll briefly cover what makes a good DBQ example, then provide a list of example essays by course. Lastly, I’ve provided some tips as how to best use sample essays in and men english essay your own preparation process.
Without a doubt, the best sample resources come from the College Board. This is because they are the fast food essay, ones who design and expository worksheets administer the AP exams. This means that: Any DBQ essay example that they provide will include a real DBQ prompt. All samples are real student responses from previous years, so you know that they were written under the should, same conditions you will be working under when you write your DBQ.
In other words, they're authentic! They not only have scores, they have explanations of each essay's score according to the terms of the rubric. Each prompt includes several sample essays with a variety of essays worksheets scores. However, there are some examples outside those available from the College Board that may be worth looking at, particularly if they highlight how a particular essay could be improved. Food Restaurants! But in blanche general, a superior example will: Include the should restaurants essay, prompt and documents. It will be much easier for you to see how the information from the documents is thesis integrated into the essay if you can actually look at should fast food essay the documents. Have a score.
Seems simple, but you'd be surprised how many DBQ examples out there in the uncharted internet don't have one. Without a real, official score, it's hard to gauge how trustworthy a sample actually is. And Juliet! With that in should food be banned mind, I have below compiled lists by exam of high-quality example DBQs. Don't spend all your study time sharpening your pencil. Every DBQ Example Essay You Could Ever Need, by Exam. Here are your example essays! We'll start with AP US History, then move to introduction essay, AP European History, and finally wrap up with AP World History. AP US History: Official College Board Examples.
Because of the recent test redesign, the College Board has only posted sample responses from 2016 and 2015. Food Restaurants Essay! This means there are only expository worksheets, two official College Board set of sample essays that use the current rubric. Look here for the free-response questions from 2015 and the ones from 2016 with no analysis (so you can look at food the question separately from the essays on reality tv being, scoring guidelines). When you're ready for the sample responses, here are the should fast food be banned essay, DBQ samples from 2015 and essay the samples from 2016. If you want to food restaurants, see additional sample sets, you can also look at older College Board US History DBQ example response sets , all the way back to blanche critical, 2003. To look at these questions, click “Free-Response Questions” for a given year. Restaurants Essay! For the corresponding DBQ examples and scoring guidelines, click “Sample Responses Q1.” Note that these use the old rubric (which is integrated into the Scoring Guidelines for a given free-response section). General comments about the english essay, quality of the essay, outside information, and document analysis still apply, but the score is on should fast food be banned, a nine-point scale instead of the romeo question, new seven-point scale, and some of the should be banned, particulars will be different.
Older DBQs had up to 12 documents, while the new format will have six-seven documents. If you do look at older DBQ examples, I recommend using the and men english literature essay, new rubric to “re-grade” the essays in the sample according to the new seven-scale score. I'll also give more advice on how to should fast food restaurants, use all of these samples in your prep later on. Mr. Bald Eagle is an AP US History DBQ Grader in his spare time. AP European History: Official College Board Examples. Unfortunately, sample resources for the AP Euro DBQ are a little sparse than for the other essays, because this past year (2016) was the first year the blanche dubois, test was administered in the new format.
This means that there is only one set of official samples graded with the current seven-point rubric. The rest of the fast be banned, existing available samples were graded in the old, nine-point format instead of the seven-point format implemented this past year. In the essays real, old format there were six “core” points and then three additional points possible. The old rubric is integrated with the sample responses for each question, but I’ll highlight some key differences between the old and new formats: In the old format, you are given a brief “historical background” section before the documents. There are more documents—up to fast essay, twelve.
The new format will have 6-7. There is an emphasis on “grouping” the documents that is essays tv being not present in the new rubric. There is also an explicit emphasis on correctly interpreting the documents that is not found in the new rubric. The essential components of the DBQ are still the same between the two formats, although you should definitely look at the new rubric if you look at any of the old AP European History samples. You may actually find it useful to look at should food restaurants the old essays and score them according to the new rubric. Samples by year: You can get samples in essays tv being real the old format all the way back to 2003 from the College Board . (Click “Free-Response Questions” for the questions and “Sample Responses Q1” for the samples.) If you want to check out should food be banned some additional DBQ sample responses that were graded by the College Board with the new rubric, look at the 2015 AP US History samples and the 2016 AP US history samples . The content will of course be different, but the structure and scoring are the same as they will be for the AP Euro 2016 test. AP European History: Unofficial Samples.
Because of the rubric revision, other European History-specific samples are also in the old format. This means there’s not much to be gained by looking outside the College Board’s extensive archives. However, the New York State Regents exam also has a DBQ on it. The format is not identical and it is and men scored out of 5 under a different rubric, but I do like this European-History themed example from Regents Prep because it has highlighted sections that show where the documents are used versus where outside information is referenced. This will give you a good visual of be banned how you might integrate outside information with the to immigration essay, analysis of your documents.
Consider how you might integrate this castle into the DBQ that is your life. AP World History: Official College Board Examples. The World History AP exam has just been transitioned to a new format to more resemble AP US History and AP European History for the 2017 test. This means that all currently available samples were graded in the old, nine-point format instead of the seven-point format to be implemented this year. In the old format there were seven “core” points and should be banned essay then two additional points possible. And Men Literature Essay! The old rubric is fast restaurants integrated with the sample responses for each question, but I’ll highlight some key differences between the old and new formats: There are more documents—up to ten. The new format will have 6-7.
There is an emphasis on “grouping” the documents on the old rubric that is introduction to immigration not present in food restaurants the new rubric. There is expository essays also an explicit emphasis on food be banned, correctly interpreting the documents that is not found in the new rubric. In the old rubric, you need to identify one additional document that would aid in your analysis. The new rubric does not have this requirement. The essential components of the essays, DBQ are still the same between the two formats, although you should definitely look at the new rubric if you look at any of the old AP World History samples. You may actually find it useful to look at fast food be banned essay the old essays and score them according to the new rubric. For whatever reason the questions and the samples with scoring notes are completely separate documents for World History, so you’ll need to click separate links to get the act iii question, question and should food restaurants be banned documents and then the responses. If you want to worksheets, take a look at some DBQs that have been graded with the new rubric, you could check out the 2015 and should food 2016 samples from AP US History and the 2016 samples from AP European History. The historical content is thesis anderson different, but this will give you an idea of how the new rubric is implemented. Don't worry, the old format isn't as old as this guy right here.
How Should I Use DBQ Examples to Prepare? So, now that you have all of these examples, what should you do with them? I'll go over should fast food restaurants be banned essay some tips as to how you can use example DBQs in your own studying, including when to and assignment anderson, start using them and how many you should plan to should restaurants be banned, review. College Board sample essay sets are a great way to test how well you understand the rubric . Dubois Critical! This is why I recommend that you grade a sample set early on in your study process—maybe even before you've written a practice DBQ. Then, when you compare the scores you gave to fast food be banned essay, the scores and introduction essay scoring notes for the samples, you'll have a good idea of what parts of the rubric you don't really understand . Fast! If there are points that you are consistently awarding differently than the graders, you’ll know those are skills to work on. Keep giving points for the thesis and then finding out the sample didn't get those points? You'll know that you need to work on of mice and men english literature essay, your thesis skills. Fast Be Banned Essay! Not giving points for historical context and then finding out the AP Grader gave full credit?
You need to blanche dubois essay, work on recognizing what constitutes historical context according to the AP. You can check out my tips on fast be banned essay, building specific rubric-based skills in my article on of mice and men english essay, how to write a DBQ. Once you've worked on some of those rubric skills that you are weaker on, like evaluating a good thesis or identifying document groups, grade another sample set. This way you can see how your ability to grade the essays like an AP grader improves over time! Obviously, grading sample exams is a much more difficult proposition when you are looking at fast be banned examples in an old format (e.g. AP European History or AP World History samples). The old scores as awarded by the College Board will be helpful in establishing a ballpark—obviously a 9 is still going to be a good essay under the romeo and juliet act iii question, 7-point scale—but there may be some modest differences in grades between the two scales. Should Essay! (Maybe that perfect 9 is now a 6 out of 7 due to of mice literature essay, rubric changes.) For practice grading with old samples, you might want to pull out two copies of the restaurants be banned, new rubric, recruit a trusted study buddy or academic advisor (or even two study buddies!), and each re-grade the samples. Then, you can discuss any major differences in the grades you awarded. Having multiple sets of eyes will help you see if the scores you are giving are reasonable, since you won’t have an official seven-point College Board score for anderson comparison. How Many Example DBQs Should I Be Using? The answer to this question depends on your study plans!
If it's six months before the exam and should food restaurants you plan on transforming yourself into romeo and juliet essay, a hard diamond of DBQ excellence, you might complete some practice grading on a sample set every few weeks to a month to check in on food restaurants be banned essay, your progress towards thinking like an AP grader. In this case you would probably use six to nine College Board sample sets. If, on on reality tv being, the other hand, the exam is in a month and should fast be banned you are just trying to get in some skill-polishing, you might do a sample set every week to 10 days. It makes sense to check in on writing, your skills more often when you have less time to study, because you want to be extra-sure that you are focusing your time on restaurants be banned, the skills that need the most work. So for a short time frame, expect to use somewhere in the range of three to four range College Board sample sets. Either way, you should be integrating your sample essay grading with skills practice, and doing some practice DBQ writing of your own . Towards the end of your study time you could even integrate DBQ writing practice with sample grading. Read and complete a timed prompt, then grade the sample set for that prompt, including yours! The other essays will help give you a sense of what score your essay might have gotten that year and any areas you may have overlooked. English Literature! There's no one-size-fits-all approach to using sample sets, but in general they are a useful tool for making sure you have a good idea what the DBQ graders will be looking for when you write your DBQ. Hey, where can we find a good DBQ around here?
Example DBQ essays are a valuable resource in your arsenal of study strategies for the AP History exams. Should Fast Restaurants Essay! Grading samples carefully will help you get a sense of your own blind spots so you know what skills to essays worksheets, focus on should fast restaurants be banned, in your own prep. That said, sample essays are most useful when integrated with your own targeted skills preparation. Grading a hundred sample essays won't help you if you aren't practicing your skills; you will just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. And make sure you aren't using sample essays to thesis writing, avoid actually writing practice DBQs--you'll want to do at least a couple even if you only have a month to practice. There you have it, folks. With this list of DBQ examples and tips on how to use them, you are all prepared to integrate samples into your study strategy! Still not sure what a DBQ is? Check out my explanation of the essay, DBQ. Want tips on how to really dig in to immigration essay and study?
I have a complete how-to guide on preparing and food essay writing the DBQ (coming soon). On Reality Tv Being! If you're still studying for AP World History, check out our Best AP World History Study Guide or get more practice tests from our complete list. Want more material for AP US History? Look into this article on the best notes to restaurants, use for question studying from one of our experts. Also check out her review of the food be banned essay, best AP US History textbooks! Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for introduction each test about the should fast restaurants be banned essay, top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now: Have friends who also need help with test prep? Share this article! Ellen has extensive education mentorship experience and is deeply committed to helping students succeed in essays on reality tv being all areas of life.
She received a BA from Harvard in Folklore and Mythology and is currently pursuing graduate studies at Columbia University. You should definitely follow us on should fast food be banned, social media. You'll get updates on our latest articles right on your feed. Follow us on all 3 of our social networks: Have any questions about to immigration essay this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply! Series: How to Get 800 on Each SAT Section: Series: How to Get to 600 on Each SAT Section: Series: How to Get 36 on Each ACT Section: Our hand-selected experts help you in a variety of fast restaurants be banned essay other topics!
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Capitalism A Love Story Essay Essays and Research Papers. ?Name: Professor Name: Class: Phil 186 Date: November 4, 2014 Essay 2: Capitalism A Love Story In . the documentary film “ Capitalism a love story ” Michael Moore demonstrates the failure of Capitalism as an should food be banned, economic system in essays America. The movie explores what capitalism is, who benefits and who get hurt by should essay, it. The film clearly shows how capitalism was hijacked by expository essays, special interests and how it decimated the middle class, making it so much smaller while at the same time enlarging the should be banned essay poor underclass. Capitalism , Debt , Documentary film 1813 Words | 7 Pages. Management 325 Moe Brown Capitalism : A Love Story After watching the Michael Moore film, . “ Capitalism : A Love Story ,” my view of to immigration capitalism definitely changed from what the class influenced me to believe. There’s no doubt in my mind that capitalism is and should restaurants essay has been good for our country in terms of becoming the most powerful and blanche critical essay the country that everyone wished to live in. But when it comes to fairness and the common good, I think capitalism has its flaws. Also I believe capitalism opens the door for. Adam Smith , Capitalism , Marxism 984 Words | 3 Pages. Capitalism : A Love Story is a scathing documentary-style film presented by fast food restaurants be banned essay, director Michael Moore.
The film takes . a hard look at corporate and financial America and introduction to immigration the power these systems have over should food restaurants, the democratic processes of the American government. In light of the 2008 American financial “meltdown”, Moore does not view capitalism as merely currently problematic, but a blatant evil that emphasizes greed, corruption, and immorality. Thesis And Assignment? This paper offers a brief review of the film and food restaurants be banned essay considers. Capitalism , Financial crisis of expository 2007–2010 , Free market 1677 Words | 5 Pages. Analysis: Michael Moore's Documentary Capitalism: A Love Story Katrinka Smith Com101-002 Prof. Spears 6/20/2012 Capitalism A Love Story In the movie . “ Capitalism a Love Story ” by Michael Moore they talked about capitalism in should restaurants essay all countries but mainly the United States. Michael covered the topics of dubois critical Wall Street, profits for juvenile prisons, under paid workers, home foreclosures, and Goldman Sachs.
He showed us in our State that the people with wealth and power are vultures and has all the should restaurants be banned power when it comes down to the economic. I thought. English-language films , Michael Moore 1058 Words | 3 Pages. Essays in tv being Love is a novel about two young people, who meet on an airplane between London and Paris and rapidly fall in . love . Should Food Restaurants? The structure of the story isn’t unusual, but what lends the book its interest is the extraordinary depth with which the emotions involved in the relationship are analysed. Love comes under the philosophical microscope.
An entire chapter is devoted to the nuances and subtexts of an initial date. Another chapter mulls over the question of essays worksheets how and when to say ‘I love you’. There’s. Black-and-white films , Emotion , Family 952 Words | 3 Pages. 1,000 Word Essay on fast be banned essay the Love Story. Sophomore Composition 1,000 Wd.
Report October 27, 1999 There are many positive things and tv being negative things about the movie and the story . Should Food Restaurants Be Banned? . Thesis? In the should fast food essay movie you have a chance to see what Elizabeth looks like. That alone could be a positive and of mice english essay negative thing. The movie is fast food be banned more glamour than thought. In the movie your mind has more free will so therefore this is the better of the essays on reality real two. The thought in the movie that, there is unlimited communication between the two, takes away your imagination.
Human physical appearance , Mind , Post office 1104 Words | 6 Pages. A Love Story Walking below the sea-blue sky, I have ever seen in my life, the most beautiful sky scene. The sunlight . Fast Food Essay? seemed like it could penetrate my heart, gently touching my tense heart using its warm arms. The wind seemed intentionally blow over our cheek, waiting something wonderful happened. I knew, deeply with my heart, it was the time to show my heart to her in romeo and juliet such beautiful time and atmosphere. It was in that time my heartbeat became faster and faster, which just like that I. 2007 films , 2008 singles , 2009 singles 1733 Words | 4 Pages.
Capitalism is an economic system where owners and investors in the business of production, distribution and the exchange of wealth is . made and is mainly maintained by private corporations and or individuals. The government is not involved, capitalism is based is be banned solely on the maximization of profit. Capitalism affects the poor and low income Americans the most. Dubois Essay? Other popular economic systems such as Socialism, Fascisim and the system of Laissez-faire can be compared to food restaurants be banned capitalism and many. Capitalism , Communism , Economic system 1149 Words | 3 Pages.
? Capitalism : A Love Story America is one of the most powerful countries in the world. This is the land of . To Immigration Essay? opportunity. This is the restaurants essay country were you have hope of tv being becoming more than what your parents were. The film Capitalism : A Love Story , reveals some of the things the media wont. The filmmaker Michael Moore, defines capitalism as greed. He shows us how capitalism is just the greed of the rich and the top CEOs. I agree with Moore, I believe that capitalism has to do with taking from the. 66th Venice International Film Festival , Capitalism , English-language films 475 Words | 2 Pages. An Essay on Capitalism While we as a nation have been seriously struggling through the economic crisis since the latest crash . in 2007 that brought our economy to the brink of should food restaurants be banned disaster there has been, to thesis writing say the least, a bitter, partisan battle between the restaurants be banned essay left and the right, the writing anderson Republicans and the Democrats, the Tea Party and the recently named 99 percenters. The division is sharp an reasonably precise to fast the point that you are on one side or the other unless you can walk a razor blade with bare.
Capital accumulation , Capitalism , Distribution of wealth 1281 Words | 3 Pages. Where Do We Go From Here: A Capitalism: A Love Story Review. ?Where Do We Go From Here Capitalism was good for the people of the United States, at least for a few years. The Golden Age of . Capitalism , or the economic prosperity following the World War II in 1945, was good as long as it put more than food on the table and allowed many to live the and men essay elite life. America, indeed, paid a good deal for its love of Capitalism . But that was then, and just like any other love affair, the good relationship between America and should fast food essay Capitalism had to reach a conclusion. Unfortunately. 66th Venice International Film Festival , Alvarado Street Bakery , Capitalism: A Love Story 1065 Words | 3 Pages. powers of her time, Moore uses the same techniques to dubois critical essay bring down the powers of our time, be it GM (Roger and Me), the gun lobby (Bowling for Columbine), the fast food restaurants be banned essay . Essay Question? government (Fahrenheit 911), the health care industry (Sicko), or free enterprise ( Capitalism : A Love Story ). Should Food Restaurants Essay? In this latest installment in his continuing series of what’s wrong with America, Michael Moore takes aim at his biggest target to dubois date, and should restaurants be banned the result is a disaster. The documentary is not nearly as funny as his previous films, the. Bowling for Columbine , Capitalism , Capitalism: A Love Story 1783 Words | 5 Pages.
Two Love stories Nicole Morris Tuesdays and essays tv being Thursdays 9:00 A.M Classes April 27 2010 Essay Four Audience . Analysis My audience for this essay is the young students at Enterprise State Community College, who enjoy a good love story about young love . I hope my essay will tell the key points of the should food essay similarities and differences of two major love stories that became movies in the end of the twentieth century, and and juliet question open their eyes to fast restaurants be banned essay what makes a love story . That is not just the good times, but. 2007 films , 20th century , Difference 1323 Words | 4 Pages. Capitalism : A Love Story examines the impact of corporate dominance on the everyday lives of Americans (and by . default, the rest of the world). The film moves from Middle America, to the halls of power in blanche dubois Washington, to the global financial epicenter in Manhattan. With both humor and outrage, the film explores the question: What is the price that America pays for its love of capitalism ? Families pay the price with their jobs, their homes and their savings. Moore goes into should food restaurants be banned essay the homes of ordinary people. American middle class , Barack Obama , Franklin D. Blanche Dubois? Roosevelt 640 Words | 2 Pages. My name is Ray . I never became serious about love . Because I believed there is nothing such as this . I always remained a cool dude . I . bet you people have seen the movies Kickass , Vampire Suck , The Dictator, etc . The fun you people get by food be banned essay, seeing those movies I used to get that by seeing romantic films amp; the love stories . I thought that there is essays real no such thing as love AND IF THERE IS IT IS FOR THE GAY’s . But I didn’t know life had a big surprise for me . Some girls in my class.
2002 albums , 2006 singles , Billboard Hot Country Songs number-one singles 2109 Words | 6 Pages. classic and interesting short stories were discussed. Most of the fast food restaurants essay teenagers are always looking forward to read short stories . I . think that the two most common stories people choose for expository worksheets, reading about an old version and a new version stories . Fast Restaurants Essay? Both stories offer a variety of expository fun and interesting themes. Everyone can learn about the true love and purpose of the story by fast restaurants, reading the thesis and assignment books “Rapunzel “and “Bad girl.” When we started to fast food restaurants be banned examine the dubois critical story “Rapunzel “, is a story about the most beautiful child. A Story , American films , English-language films 1052 Words | 3 Pages. Capitalism : A Love Story The whole point of this documentary was to should food reveal capitalism for what . it truly is. Tv Being Real? Capitalism is about taking and giving, but mostly taking. It takes advantage of restaurants essay others disadvantages.
People were made to believe that capitalism was good and holy and that it tied into blanche dubois essay the bible, but in reality, it’s the should fast essay opposite. Michael Moore would call more of financial Cudahy. Every 71/2 seconds a person’s house is being foreclosed in America. The banks are evicting people. Credit card , English-language films , Michael Moore 784 Words | 2 Pages. Capitalism : A Love Story In class Ms.
Crosdale sat us down to watch a documentary by the great Michael Moore . “ Capitalism : A Love Story .” To be quite honestly at first I wasn’t very interested in it until I started to hear little things like people losing their jobs and to immigration essay companies taking out life insurance on their employees unknowingly. Should Food Restaurants Be Banned? I took it upon myself to go home and catch the rest of it on Netflix. After two hours of seeing the evil of capitalism or, as Michael Moore puts it, legal greed. 66th Venice International Film Festival , Capitalism , Capitalism: A Love Story 659 Words | 2 Pages. today is not a capitalist country, for we have lived in a mixed economy- a mixture of capitalism and socialism- for more than a century. We . live based on the principle of individual liberty--the unchallengeable right to follow your own dreams and act according to expository essays your own judgment. But in reality- isn’t pursuing profit and your own self-interest wrong? And if that’s the should restaurants essay reason, then why do Americans love capitalism ? It’s the great sought- after American dream, and dubois the sole propaganda machine that tells. Capitalism , Economic system , Free market 1013 Words | 3 Pages.
Love Is Diverse Love is like a war, it’s easy to start but very hard to fast be banned essay finish. Worksheets? Throughout history there have been so many . different ways to describe it between different cultures because it is such a broad subject. There are so many different types of love but I think they all have the same similar meanings. Whether it’s the love within a sports team, the love that someone could have for fast food essay, themselves or the many varieties of dubois love shown by parents that help raise their children I think there are so. Agape , Father , FIFA World Cup 1405 Words | 3 Pages.
Ethics Capitalism : A Love Story 1. The opening sequences of Capitalism : A Love . Restaurants Be Banned? Story makes it look like we are living in the Ancient Rome days. The song is playing and introduction essay they are flashing scenes from the Roman days and then out current days. Moore did a great job editing the movie for example when music about should essay, fighting came on it showed the Roman days and on reality then some wrestlers from should food restaurants this area. I’m not real sure if this would be considered effective. Effective maybe to tv being real see that things change. Barack Obama , Democratic Party , Franklin D. Roosevelt 637 Words | 2 Pages. Research Paper In English “ Love does not starts and end the way we want it , Love is a battle , Love is . a war , Love is part of growing up.” Love does not start the moment we want it to feel. Fast Food Be Banned? Love sometimes come in the unexpected time , place , and person. We cannot force ourselves to love the person we want. Love is a war because every minute or time there will be problems that both of you must face.
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? “ Capitalism : A Love Story ” directed by Michael Moore examines the social impact corporations have on society. The . film shows the power and political influence that these large corporations have and how these corporations have taken advantage of the American people for the pursuit of profit. I will be supporting Michael Moore’s views on capitalism by citing readings from course material. I will use three readings to support Michael Moore’s views on corporate political dominance, his view on capitalism. 66th Venice International Film Festival , Capitalism: A Love Story , Corporation 1385 Words | 4 Pages. of love in mythology stories is very intense but most of the food stories end tragically for the lovers. The . stories are very similar and the beginnings and ends are a lot alike. The stories usually start off with strong feelings of thesis and assignment anderson love filled with lust and restaurants be banned sometimes obsession.
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The two symbols mentioned in this short story are the open window and the heart trouble that Louise had. Louise Mallard also repeats the word “Free” in the story , which gives insight. 2008 albums , Emotion , Fiction 917 Words | 3 Pages. Project 2 A Mothers Love A mother’s loves at what cost will one pay to receive it? The story “A Rocking . Should Fast Food Essay? Horse Winner” is about a young boy who desires to thesis be loved by his mother. He desires his mother’s love so bad that he ends up dying trying to receive it. The author D.H. Lawrence develops a theme that states, the desire for money and social status is more important than her children. Should Food Restaurants? The story is thesis and assignment writing about a young boy named Paul who tries to win his mother’s love by winning money. Paul.
Family , Love , Marriage 791 Words | 3 Pages. Carmen: A Story of food essay Lust and essay Love Summary of the Program The event began with Mr. Should Restaurants Be Banned Essay? Lopez providing a rundown of what the whole . program would be about, and short after, introducing the prima ballerina, Ms. Lisa Macuja-Elizalde. Thesis And Assignment? The prima ballerina then discussed the plot of Carmen and how she felt of taking the food be banned lead role. After that, she presented a quick lecture about the blanche dubois critical basics of ballet, wherein she also demonstrated the basic positions. As she ended the lecture, the lights dimmed and the ballet. Ballerina , Ballet , Georges Bizet 1385 Words | 4 Pages. Story of should food essay An Hour and The Awakening Compare and Contrast Essay Kate Chopin's literary works, . Story of An Hour and The Awakening are very similar in to immigration their strong feministic voice, the mood of discontentedness, and the prevailing theme of the search for fast food, freedom from a culture dominated by male supremacy and the belief that women are a possession rather than a gift to be cherished. In both Story of An Hour and The Awakening, a strong voice of feminism prevails throughout.
English-language films , Grand Isle, Louisiana , Kate Chopin 905 Words | 3 Pages. Espinola 100R Basic Composition RQ Instructor: Jared Weigley 25 November 2014 Capitalism : America’s Imaginary Friend . Capitalism and America have a love affair that is mutually a false belief. Productivity and competition make up a portion of what capitalism is. Whereas busyness is the and assignment writing anderson action capitalism creates. As a whole, the should fast restaurants essay incorporation of busyness adopts the smallest aspects of everyday life. In the romeo essay question Adam Gopnik’s essay “Bumping into Mr.
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What were the results? 3. Moore provides stories about the impact of privatization on local communities. What were some of dubois critical these?' 4. . Corporations repeatedly claim that cutting jobs will allow them to should food be banned save money and stay in business. Why does this not seem to work much in the examples detailed in the film? 5. Moore talks with workers and farmers about the impact of romeo act iii economic conditions and policies on their lives. Should Fast Food Restaurants Be Banned Essay? What were some of their stories ? What ways did they express solidarity with.
Capitalism , Communism , Documentary film 1124 Words | 3 Pages. Tragic Love Story By: Sonia Adel She walks into the hallway and I catch my breath. My eyes light up when she smiles at me, . but she doesn't notice it. She walks up to romeo me and gives me a casual greeting and I reply hoping I said the right thing. We stand there conversing and not knowing what to should fast restaurants essay say I talk about some girl I have just met looking at her all the time trying to on reality tv being tell her that if she would just let me love her no one else would mean anything to me. She says a casual goodbye and walks.
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His grandma is more of a determined. 2006 albums , Family , First aid 1746 Words | 5 Pages. same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and . sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of fast food college, having lived together for english literature, two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and should food restaurants essay I stayed for one more year to finish school.
During. American films , English-language films 1447 Words | 4 Pages. English 151 Chapter 28 Argument Essay - What is Happiness? About Love In the world we live in, there are people who oppose . love and and men literature essay everything that comes with it. And then there are people who are all for it and should fast food restaurants be banned want it to happen to them.
Being in thesis and assignment anderson love with someone is one of the most beautiful, life changing things there is. Love gives you a completely outlook on life and it makes you realize how precious life really is. Fast Essay? As said in and men literature essay the beginning of the paragraph, love is not for everybody. Everyone. 2002 albums , American films , English-language films 1027 Words | 4 Pages. cannot allow yourself to be selfish which can be very hard. A Journey is a short story written by Colm Toibin. Should Fast? The short . story is told by a limited third person narrator, and because of that we only introduction to immigration, hear about the main character’s thought and opinions. Should? We see the events and romeo and juliet act iii question other characters from his viewpoint.
It makes it a bit more unreliable when it is a subjective narrator. If we were told the short story from David’s or Seamus’ point of view or if it was an omniscient narrator, it would probably. Fiction , Narrator , Protagonist 1292 Words | 3 Pages. Migration Stories Essay Family Story. ?This paper will take a key interest in the migration story of my parents Barbara Heinemann and Kirby Clark and their story in should restaurants be banned . On Reality Tv Being? relation to identify the factors that shaped the should food be banned migration and resettlement of of mice literature essay migrants in should fast restaurants essay the 1980’s and the Australian government’s policies and desires. How the processes of alienation and assimilation affected migrants who came from romeo essay a western culture and be banned essay how acceptance and ‘mateship’ was difficult to introduction find in Australians.
I will do this while comparing the similarities. Australia , Culture of Australia , Government of Australia 2120 Words | 11 Pages. challenge to his girlfriend;to live a day without him.He said if she was able to do it, he'll love her forever, the girl agreed and she didn't . text or call him the whole day, without knowing that he had only fast food restaurants essay, 24 hours to live because he was suffering from cancer. She went to his house next day, tears fell on her cheeks as she saw him lying on in a coffin with a note ;you did it baby. now do it everyday¦¦ Love Story With Sad Ending one day I was walking down the street when a gorgeous man approached me. 2004 singles , Black-and-white films , Jay Sean 940 Words | 3 Pages. Twelfth Night Essay . Title: Explore the different types of loves represented in Twelfth Night. Introduction? If you ever wanted to . Should Fast Food? investigate the different kinds of of mice and men english love there may be in be banned essay existence, and try to define and understand how different love can be represented, then twelfth seems to be the ultimate play. It was written in expository essays 1623 by William Shakespeare, the characters of twelfth night display various sorts of food restaurants be banned characteristics and essays on reality real personalities which are the essential ingredients that add to the play. Erotomania , Interpersonal relationship , Love 2194 Words | 5 Pages. Pyramus and should fast be banned Thisbe a Legendary Love Story.
Legendary Love Story The oldest love story in the world The Story of Pyramus and . Thisbe is the oldest love story in the world. It's a story we still tell - and it's a tragedy. It's a familiar tale to all of essays us although we may not instantly recognise the names of the should food be banned ancient lovers. You know it very well, it's the story of young lovers whose union is dubois essay thwarted by their opposing parents and whose lives end in double suicide based on a misunderstanding. Two, by themselves, each other, love and fear.
A Midsummer Night's Dream , Babylon , Luis de Gongora 795 Words | 3 Pages.
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